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rom infancy to adulthood: How does split thinking affect our relationships
Split thinking, also known as binary thinking or extreme thinking, is a cognitive style that divides people, things or ideas into two categories: "good" or "bad". This way of thinking was first proposed by psychologist Ronald Fairburne in 1952 and is associated with infants' inability to integrate both the good and bad traits of their parents. This psychological mechanism exists in many mental disorders, especially in borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Schizophrenia is often manifested as an individual's inability to integrate positive and negative impressions of self and others.
The emergence of split thinking is an important aspect of human growth. It may initially be a normal psychological development process in childhood, but as the individual grows, this thinking pattern may continue to affect the adult's ability to establish and maintain interpersonal relationships.
People with borderline personality disorder tend to be more sensitive in social and emotional interactions. When they sense the emotional reactions of others, they tend to see them as all good or all bad and lack understanding of others. Not only does this make their relationships unstable, it can also cause them to experience extreme mood swings in social situations.
"For people with BPD, having stable relationships is a challenge. The constant idealization and devaluation makes it difficult for them to form lasting connections with others."
Split thinking manifests itself in different ways at different stages of a person's interpersonal life. For teens, this type of thinking can lead to extreme emotional swings in interactions within friendships and a tendency to feel rejected when criticized. The impact on adults may be more far-reaching. Many people find themselves maintaining an invisible sense of tension in their intimate relationships, worrying that their partners will be belittled at any time because of trivial matters, which in turn is reflected in their communication patterns.
Specialized psychotherapy such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has also become an effective way to treat this problem. The therapy helps patients learn how to regulate their emotions and how to develop healthier relationship patterns. This means that for those who experience split thinking, they need to learn how to face parts of reality rather than simply categorizing others.
"Effective treatment teaches patients how to view their relationships with others and encourages them to become more flexible in their attitudes toward themselves and others."
However, this process is not easy, especially for patients who are traumatized by past clinical experiences. The effects of the split also have a ripple effect in their interactions with those around them, filling their social circles with a sense of unease and anxiety.
Not only the supportive people around the patient must also learn how to deal with these difficulties. They need to learn to maintain boundaries around inappropriate behavior while respecting the patient’s feelings, which is extremely challenging.
In therapy, whether it is family therapy or individual psychotherapy, repeated emotional experiences may affect the effectiveness of treatment. Therefore, a stable support system and open communication are the basis for rebuilding trust.
“A stable relationship needs to be built through constant communication and understanding, which is not only the responsibility of the patient, but also involves the participation of those around them.”
Ultimately, split thinking not only affects an individual's self-identity, but also has a direct impact on how they perceive and interact with the world. Past experiences are perpetuated by instability in interpersonal relationships, further affecting the individual’s basic view of interpersonal interactions. Can this vicious cycle be broken? It still requires continuous and in-depth efforts and reflection from everyone.
