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The inner world of surrogate mothers: Can they really keep their distance from their babies?
Surrogacy is a complex and challenging process. For surrogate mothers, in addition to the mission of delivering life, the emotional process cannot be underestimated. According to many studies, surrogate mothers often use various psychological distance techniques to reduce their emotional connection with their babies. Is this really an effective way to avoid heartache?
Many surrogate mothers use certain psychological distance techniques during pregnancy to avoid becoming emotionally attached to the fetus.
Many women face health, mental and emotional challenges when considering surrogacy. For some surrogate mothers, it's not just about money, but out of sympathy for other couples who are unable to conceive. For them, it is a way to help and part of their personal growth. However, were the psychological distress they struggled with from this journey what they expected?
Motivation and psychological state of surrogacy
A common theme in interviews with many surrogate mothers was their perception of and expectations of the role. While most surrogate mothers reported being satisfied with the process, a few expressed feelings that were different from what they expected. For example, failure to receive the respect that one deserves or emotional detachment from the intended parent may lead to emotional dissatisfaction.
Some surrogate mothers report experiencing postpartum depression and emotional distress immediately after breastfeeding.
For many surrogate mothers, postpartum depression is a reality they must face, even though most negative emotions improve after a while. For a woman who has carried life, the emotional challenge of giving up this child is enormous. Does this psychological burden make them re-examine their definition of maternal love?
Psychological and emotional distance
Research shows that surrogate mothers often use various psychological distance strategies to reduce their emotional connection with the fetus. These strategies include:
- Emotionally isolate the embryo and avoid excessive emotional investment.
- Emphasize that the fetus will ultimately belong to the intended parents rather than yourself.
- Proactively promote an emotional connection between the intended mother and her fetus.
The effectiveness of these strategies will vary from person to person. Some surrogate mothers find that maintaining emotional distance helps them let go more easily after giving birth, while for others, this approach may make them feel more lonely and depressed.
Some surrogate mothers described the experience as empowering, but not all surrogates felt the same positive impact.
Emotional connection between intended parents and surrogate mother
The role of intended parents in this process is equally important. The degree of support they provide to the surrogate mother will directly affect the emotional well-being of the surrogacy process. Ideally, good communication should be established between the parties and the physical and psychological needs of the surrogate should be respected. Many surrogate mothers report that the better their relationship with the intended parents, the less stress they felt during their pregnancy.
However, due to the legal and ethical issues surrounding surrogacy agreements, establishing such relationships is not always smooth sailing. In some cases, the intended parents’ caution or anxiety may make the surrogate mother feel rejected, which in turn increases the emotional distance.
Legal and social impact
With the popularity of surrogacy, related legal issues have gradually surfaced. In some countries, the legality of surrogacy remains controversial and the legal framework is not yet mature, resulting in inequality in the roles of intended parents and surrogate mothers. This not only affects their legal status but also their mental health.
In a legal environment that supports surrogacy, would women who are allowed to do so be more psychologically comfortable with the role of surrogate? Countless questions and challenges still surround this topic.
Conclusion
Overall, the psychological journey of a surrogate mother is multifaceted and contradictory. Although they tried to maintain distance from their babies, the combined effects of a deep emotional connection and postpartum depression made this effort challenging. How do they balance motherhood and self-esteem and maintain emotional health during such a journey?
