In interpersonal relationships, we often perform a calculation invisibly, which covers the cost of investment and the rewards obtained. Social exchange theory is a powerful tool for revealing this process. This theory deeply studies how two parties make cost-benefit analyzes during interactions and use this to make decisions about their behaviors.
Social exchange theory tells us that if in a relationship, you give more than you gain, then the relationship may be terminated.
The roots of social exchange theory can be traced back to the research of many social psychologists and sociologists in the 20th century. Each of them has deeply explored this theory in their own fields and proposed many different views and concepts. American social psychologists John W. Sibut and Harold H. Kelly are one of the important founders of this theory. They particularly emphasize the psychological concept of individuals in the interaction process.
The core of this theory lies in "self-interest" and "interdependence". These characteristics provide the basic framework for social exchange. Communication occurs when two participants possess the value that the other party requires in the transaction.
"Social exchange theory believes that self-interest is not negative, but an important driving force in promoting interpersonal relationships."
Social exchange theory first involves the two basic concepts of "cost" and "reward". Costs are elements of a relationship that have negative value to the individual, whereas rewards are elements that provide positive value. These concepts help people make choices in complex social interactions.
In many cases, the social exchange process first involves the evaluation of rewards and costs. The "value equation" of a relationship can be described as: Worth = Rewards − Costs.
If a relationship produces more gain than effort, the relationship will naturally last. On the other hand, excessive costs may lead to the termination of the relationship. This relationship dynamic applies to a wide variety of social situations, from romantic relationships to friendships to professional relationships and even moment-to-moment interactions with customers.
For example, social exchange theory applies not only to long-lasting intimate relationships but also to everyday social interactions. In a business environment, communication between customers and businesses is often based on this theory. Consumers will decide whether to return based on the rewards they feel—whether it’s the quality of the product, the attitude of the service, or the reasonableness of the price. In this process, merchants try to provide value that exceeds customer expectations.
“When people choose relationships, they often evaluate them based on the long-term benefits they can expect.”
The development of this theory is not limited to social psychology, but also spans related research in sociology, economics and anthropology. Different scholars have interpreted and extended social exchange theory based on their respective professional backgrounds. For example, Peter M. Blau combined his social exchange theory with the concept of economic exchange, emphasizing the complexity of analyzing individual behavior in social interactions.
Under the thinking of various schools of thought, the process of social exchange can undergo a transformation from "surface interaction" to "deep self-disclosure". This process can help build deeper emotional connections, thereby improving the quality of relationships. When interested parties begin to share deeper thoughts and feelings, relationships can be further deepened.
Social exchange theory provides a lens into the dynamic interactions between partners, friends, and coworkers.
Of course, social exchange theory is not impeccable. Critics point out that reducing interpersonal relationships to a process of exchange of benefits ignores emotional and moral factors. Furthermore, self-altruistic behavior may not be risky in some cultural contexts but may cause problems in other contexts.
Nonetheless, social exchange theory remains a valuable tool that can provide clues to our understanding of motivations in interpersonal interactions. In daily life, if we can always reflect on what we give and receive in relationships, we may be able to build and maintain a good social network more efficiently.
When reflecting on this process of social exchange, should we complain less about the treatment of the outside world and pay more attention to the sincerity and investment we need to show in the relationship?