The Three ‘C’s of Single Fathering: Commitment, Constraints and Challenges

Abstract

Despite the news of two famous film stars becoming fathers through surrogacy, being a single father in India is generally determined by circumstances, where men opt not to remarry in the interest of children. Such a situation calls for a revised approach to fathering with a need to strike a balance between work and parenthood, to be able to fulfil multiple needs of the child. The number of single fathers is limited in India, but these men by choice or chance readily take on the role of the nurturer, despite the challenges. This chapter tries to capture the lived realities of such single fathers. It is constructed based on conversations with a small sample of five fathers, who were identified/referred through professional and social contacts. The paper begins by outlining the circumstances that led them towards single fathering and elaborates on their aspirations for their child. It traces the challenges, of being a good parent, which a father tries to navigate to the best of his abilities, attempting to fulfil the needs of his children. He does this by using available informal support, amidst a social structure that poses certain constraints to a man who is single.