Brian de Vries

Definitions of friendship in the third age: age, gender, and study location effects

Friendship is not institutionalized in American society; hence, perceptions of it vary. Rather than studying sources of this variation, most scholars ignore the complexity, bemoan the difficulty it causes in analysis, or eliminate it. We examined the frequency of use of previously studied and emergent characteristics of friendship as definitional criteria and the age, gender, and cultural patterns associated with them. Data are from two North American cities: the Andrus Study of Older Adult Friendships in southeastern United States (28 women and 25 men, age 55 to 84), and the Social Relations Project in western Canada (39 women and 25 men, age 55 to 87). Definitions of friendship differed across age and gender groups within each culture, but most striking is cross-cultural variation.

Stress and Mental Health Among Midlife and Older Gay-Identified Men

OBJECTIVES We investigated associations between stress and mental health (positive affect, depressive symptoms) among HIV-negative and HIV-positive midlife and older gay-identified men, along with the mediating and moderating effects of mastery and emotional support. We also studied the mental health effects of same-sex marriage. METHODS We obtained data from self-administered questionnaires completed in 2009 or 2010 by a subsample (n = 202; average age = 56.91 years; age range = 44-75 years) of participants in the University of California, Los Angeles component of the Multicenter AIDS Cohort Study, one of the largest and longest-running natural-history studies of HIV/AIDS in the United States. RESULTS Both sexual minority stress (perceived gay-related stigma, excessive HIV bereavements) and aging-related stress (independence and fiscal concerns) appeared to have been detrimental to mental health. Sense of mastery partially mediated these associations. Being legally married was significantly protective net of all covariates, including having a domestic partner but not being married. Education, HIV status, and race/ethnicity had no significant effects. CONCLUSIONS Sexual minority and aging-related stress significantly affected the emotional lives of these men. Personal sense of mastery may help to sustain them as they age. We observed specific mental health benefits of same-sex legal marriage.

Friendship in childhood and adulthood: lessons across the life span.

Friendship occupies an important place in the growing body of literature in child development and gerontological research. As such, it may be useful for researchers from both fields to consider what can be learned from work carried out in each tradition. Therefore, we present a selected review of topics in friendship research across the life span. Through discussion of the value of friendship, the development of friendship, challenges to friendship, the gendered nature of friendship, and the connection between friends and family, points of commonality and contrast are identified. We conclude by presenting possible avenues for future investigation for researchers interested in friendship at any point in the life span.

MEMORIALIZING LOVED ONES ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB

Creating and visiting Web memorials represent new opportunities for post-death ritual. A content analysis was conducted on a sample of 244 of the memorials found on the largest Web Cemetery: Virtual Memorial Gardens (catless.ncl.ac.uk/Obituary/memorial.html). Analyses revealed that memorials were written, in descending order of prevalence, by children (33%), friends (15%), grandchildren (11%), parents (10%), siblings (8%), spouses (4%), and various other family members. This pattern favoring younger authors may reflect the newness of this venue and facility with computer technology. The content of such memorials often contained reference to missing the deceased, rarely spoke of the cause of death, or made mention of God or religion. Memorials were more likely to be written to the deceased (e.g., in the form of a letter) rather than about or for the deceased (e.g., eulogy/obituary or tribute). Parents, family groups, and other relatives more frequently made religious references in their memorials than did other authors. In addition to the Web as a novel, untapped data source, these memorials offer intriguing opportunities for theoretical refinement (i.e., the ongoing connection between the bereaved and the deceased).

Stress-related growth among the recently bereaved

Although stress-related growth (SRG), or a personal transformation beyond adaptation, can be an outcome for some individuals after a traumatic life experience like spouse or partner loss, it is often assumed that some time needs to pass before this happens. This study reports on early experiences of SRG relatively soon after the loss of a spouse or partner in mid and later life. Self-administered questionnaires were completed by 292 recently bereaved (2–6 months) partners, aged 50+, as part of the Living After Loss study conducted in Salt Lake City and San Francisco. Substantial variability in SRG was observed where 21% scored ≥1 SD above and approximately 18% scored ≥1 SD below the sample mean of 17.2 (SD = 7.0). Regression analyses revealed that SRG was more likely for those who had expected their partners’ deaths, who were more religious and who engaged in loss- and restoration-oriented coping processes, and was independent of grief levels. Findings suggest that some individuals drew upon their religious beliefs as a way to find meaning and make sense of what happened as they rebuilt their ‘assumptive world’. Also, those who anticipated their partners death could have had more opportunity to cognitively process the loss, address the challenges of widowed life and learn new skills and discover previously unrecognized strengths.

Experiences and Early Coping of Bereaved Spouses/Partners in an Intervention Based on the Dual Process Model (DPM)

This study was designed to test the effectiveness of the Dual Process Model (DPM) of coping with bereavement. The sample consisted of 298 recently widowed women (61%) and men age 50+ who participated in 14 weekly intervention sessions and also completed before (O1) and after (O2) self-administered questionnaires. While the study also includes two additional follow-up assessments (O3 and O4) that cover up to 14–16 months bereaved, this article examines only O1 and O2 assessments. Based on random assignment, 128 persons attended traditional grief groups that focused on loss-orientation (LO) in the model and 170 persons participated in groups receiving both the LO and restoration-orientation (RO) coping (learning daily life skills). As expected, participants in DPM groups showed slightly higher use of RO coping initially, but compared with LO group participants they improved at similar levels and reported similar high degrees of satisfaction with their participation (i.e., having their needs met and 98–100% indicating they were glad they participated. Even though DPM participants had six fewer LO sessions, they showed similar levels of LO improvement. Qualitative data indicate that the RO component of the DPM might be more effective if it is tailored and delivered individually.

Aging Out in the Desert: Disclosure, Acceptance, and Service Use Among Midlife and Older Lesbians and Gay Men

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) persons in the county of Riverside, CA and in the Palm Springs/Coachella Valley area, in particular, responded to a questionnaire addressing concerns about identity disclosure and comfort accessing social services. Distributed at a Pride festival, as well as through religious, social, and service agencies, the final sample for analysis of 502 comprised 401 (80%) gay men and 101 (20%) lesbians in 4 groups: < 50 years of age (18%), 50 to 59 (26%), 60 to 69 (36%), and over 70 (20%). Results reveal that almost one-third of midlife and older gay men and lesbians maintain some fear of openly disclosing their sexual orientation. Along comparable lines with similar proportions, older gay men and lesbians maintain some discomfort in their use of older adult social services, even as the majority reports that they would feel more comfortable accessing LGBT-friendly identified services and programs. In both cases, lesbians reported greater fear and discomfort than did gay men; older gay men and lesbians reported that they would be less comfortable accessing LGBT-identified services and programs than did younger gay men and lesbians. These data support prior research on the apprehension of LGBT elders in accessing care, the crucial role of acceptance, with some suggestions of how social services might better prepare to address these needs.

Memorializing on the World Wide Web: Patterns of Grief and Attachment in Adult Daughters of Deceased Mothers

The World Wide Web is emerging as the new site for mourners. Many bereaved persons are creating memorial Web sites for deceased loved ones, providing text-based representations of what they have lost with frequent reference to the nature of their grief. The primary purpose of this study was to measure elements of attachment style and grief as shown by the adult daughters who had placed memorials on the Internet for their deceased mothers. Participants self-selected and were solicited and completed a questionnaire online. In addition, the 24 available Web sites were content coded for textual themes and presentational styles. Fifty-nine memorial authors responded to measures of attachment style, grief, and characteristics of the memorial they created. Results revealed a lower frequency of secure attachment styles than would be expected and higher levels of grief. Prominent among the themes expressed in these memorials were missing the deceased, narratives and letters to the deceased, comments about the deceased watching over the bereft, and other references to the self. Although smaller numbers precluded statistical analyses, several evocative attachment style differences in the use of these themes were suggested. These findings contribute to the understanding of the complex relationship between adult daughters and their deceased mothers and the potential role of attachment in the ways in which such relationships are characterized and memorialized.

Humor, laughter, and happiness in the daily lives of recently bereaved spouses.

The positive psychology movement has created more interest in examining the potential value of experiencing positive emotions (e.g., humor, laughter, and happiness) during the course of bereavement. This study of 292 recently widowed (5–24 weeks) men (39%) and women (61%) age 50 and over examined both the perceived importance of and actual experience of having positive emotions in their daily lives and how they might impact bereavement adjustments. We found that most of the bereaved spouses rated humor and happiness as being very important in their daily lives and that they were also experiencing these emotions at higher levels than expected. Experiencing humor, laughter, and happiness was strongly associated with favorable bereavement adjustments (lower grief and depression) regardless of the extent to which the bereaved person valued having these positive emotions.

The Meaning of Friendship for Gay Men and Lesbians in the Second Half of Life

Little is known about the role and meaning of friends in the lives of older gay men and lesbians, notwithstanding popular discussions about chosen families and the role friends play as a buffer between the individual and the stigmatizing world in which gay men and lesbians live. Present analyses explore the definition and meaning of friends as disclosed by 53 self-identified homosexual and 106 heterosexual men and women in later life, all ranging from age 50 to 88 years. Using a framework developed by Adams, Blieszner, and de Vries (2001), the transcribed, verbatim responses to questions addressing the meaning of friends were coded to reflect their focus on five process categories: (1) behavioral, such as assistance and shared activities; (2) cognitive, such as trust and loyalty; (3) affective processes, such as care and compatibility; (4) structural, such as social distance and group membership; and (4) proxy measures, including frequency of contact and length of acquaintance. Gay men and lesbians defined friends using a greater number of process dimensions and, in the absence of age and gender effects, were more likely than the heterosexual sample to include cognitive and affective processes as well as proxy measures of process. These findings highlight the depth of consideration with which older gay men and lesbians consider their friends and offer an initial exploration into the relational interactions of a population that has witnessed sweeping social movements throughout their lifetime.