Chris Carling

Telling Stories and Telling the Truth

Telling and hearing stories as part of coming to terms with difficult and painful experiences is one of the most striking instances of the power and value of observer language. It is, though, only one of the many and varied reasons we recount to one another ‘what happened’ in story form.

Language and Emotion

Words, however inadequate, are nevertheless one of the most important ways we share emotions and feelings and reactions with others. As is silence: ‘You’re very quiet. Are you all right?’ Some silences feel brooding and ominous, just as others feel comfortable and warm.

Private Uncertainty, Public Confusion

We do not always understand others, but we usually assume that they know what they are talking about. Or at least, we assume they believe they do.

Taking Part and Standing Back

Virtually unnoticed, our use of language reflects two roles we move between throughout our lives. One is the role of PARTICIPANT, taking part in what is going on around us, absorbed, involved, the other the role of OBSERVER, standing back, taking stock, assessing and explaining ourselves and others.

Taking Time to Understand

The various barriers to convergence are not equally significant all of the time. Though language is based on a tacit communal conspiracy whereby we assume, individually, that we mean broadly the same by the same words — Locke’s first ‘secret reference’ — that conspiracy is nevertheless sustained by our experience that some of the time we do. More or less. If we ask for ‘coffee’ at the end of a meal, we are unlikely to get tea. Though if we are not more specific — black, white, milk, cream, sugar, Turkish, cappucino — we may still not succeed in getting precisely the coffee we want.

The Public and the Private: a difficult balancing act

The fragility of the bridge can be traced to a fundamental paradox at the heart of the human condition: each of us lives two lives, one private ‘as I’, the other public ‘as we’. Martin Buber summed it up: ‘Experience comes to man “as I” but it is by experience “as we” that he builds the common world in which he lives’ (Britton, 1970: 19).

When a Face Really Matters

Ordinarily we see faces, recognise faces, recall faces privately, for ourselves. We are not often required to try to translate these skills into words.

Talking about Tasting: the language of wine

Much of our everyday talk about food and drink is actually about likes and dislikes, sometimes as a kind of running commentary to a meal: ‘Don’t think much of this wine, do you? Tastes like vinegar’. ‘How’s your steak? Very nice. Yes, very nice and tender’. If we are guests politeness may make our ‘commentary’ somewhat less than frank.

Wine and Words: an empirical approach

Matching wine with words can be a difficult task, particularly if the wine is unfamiliar and the flavour or bouquet elusive. Just how difficult was brought out by a series of experiments Adrienne Lehrer conducted, designed to throw light on the relation between language and the senses.

Secret Reference: a grand illusion?

Keeping in mind the public and the private cannot guarantee our understanding or being understood — although it undoubtedly helps. The problem lies with the private ‘I’ side which constitutes the most fundamental limitation on language affecting the degree to which communication is even possible at all.