Courtney Waite Miller

Gender and Willingness to Confront Hurtful Messages from Romantic Partners

Based on a social role perspective, an individuals hurt and willingness to confront a face attack expressed by a romantic partner were hypothesized to vary with gender, type of face attack, and social context. Undergraduates responding to hypothetical scenarios revealed that when teased, women imagined they would be more hurt and more willing to confront their romantic partners’ attacks than did men. Men reported that they likely would perceive less audience support for confrontation than women. Men reported that they would be less likely than women to confront, regardless of social context. The effect of audience support and hurt are independent and both have comparable influence on willingness to confront. Our findings suggest that responses to hurtful messages are related to the messages’ emotional impact and gender norms.

The perceived characteristics of irresolvable, resolvable and resolved intimate conflicts: Is there evidence of intractability?

Purpose – The paper seeks to investigate the characteristics of irresolvable interpersonal conflicts by comparing irresolvable conflicts to resolvable and resolved conflicts on each of Colemans common social psychological factors associated with intractable conflicts.Design/methodology/approach – Undergraduate students were randomly assigned to complete questionnaires about an irresolvable conflict, a resolvable conflict, or a resolved conflict. Participants reported on conflicts in romantic or parental relationships.Findings – Three of Colemans factors distinguished irresolvable interpersonal conflicts: length of conflict; hopelessness; and resistance to resolution. Three factors did not: issue centrality; conflict pervasiveness; and motivation to harm.Research limitations/implications – The participants in this study were college undergraduates. Because we asked participants to report on conflicts in romantic or parental relationships, this study does not include irresolvable conflicts that might occu...

Communication during Interpersonal Arguing: Implications for Stress Symptoms

Research suggests that arguing can be stressful. We report two studies that explore the relationships between distributive, integrative, and avoidant communication reported to have occuned during an argument and individuals ‘post-episodic stress symptoms and health problems. Self-reported distributive and avoidance actions were positively related to post-episodic hyperarousal and hyperarousal mediated the positive relationship between both actions and health problems. Unexpectedly, self-reported integrative actions were positively related to post-episodic intrusive thoughts and hyperarousal, although only hyperarousal mediated the relationship between integrative actions and health problems.

When Hurt Continues: Taking Conflict Personally Leads to Rumination, Residual Hurt and Negative Motivations Toward Someone Who Hurt Us

Individuals sometimes are hurt by the comments of others, and residual feelings of hurt are experienced after the episode. Because of individuals’ tendency to ruminate, we argue that residual hurt and its consequences may be especially common among individuals who tend to take conflict personally (TCP). We hypothesized that TCP would be positively related to motivations to avoid and to seek revenge against offenders, and these relationships will be mediated by the link between rumination and residual hurt. To test our hypotheses, we conducted a survey among undergraduates about how they reacted to a hurtful message. We confirmed our hypotheses.

The Effect of Face Loss on Willingness to Confront Hurtful Messages from Romantic Partners

An individuals imagined hurt, face loss, and willingness to confront were hypothesized to vary with the social context and type of face attack expressed by a romantic partner. Undergraduates responding to hypothetical scenarios indicated greater imagined hurt and willingness to confront the attack when insulted versus when teased. Individuals reported more face loss from public versus private attacks. Individuals were less willing to confront public attacks, implying that individuals are sensitive to the type of face attack but are concerned about losing face in a public confrontation.

Components of Integrative Communication during Arguing: Implications for Stress Symptoms

Serial arguing is positively related to stress-related health problems. Research also demonstrates that using constructive forms of conflict management such as integrative tactics is positively related to self-reported stress after an episode of serial arguing (Reznik, Roloff, & Miller, 2010). Constructive communication may facilitate both conflict management and relational well-being. However, the present study focuses on why constructive communication may be stressful to enact and whether all forms of it are stressful. Using cognitive depletion theory as a guide, we conducted a survey of 167 individuals who were or are in dating relationships and found that problem-solving is indirectly and positively related to health symptoms and avoidance stress. Active listening is indirectly and negatively related to health symptoms and avoidance stress. Self-expression is indirectly and negatively, but not significantly, related to health symptoms and stress.

Hopelessness and Interpersonal Conflict: Antecedents and Consequences of Losing Hope

Research on intractable conflict indicates that difficult conflicts often are associated with a sense of hopelessness about the potential for resolution. We argue that hopelessness arises from individuals who want another to change and whose arguments evidence self demand/other withdraw and mutual hostility. The sense of hopelessness arising from these patterns is related to avoidance after an argument and withdrawing support and affection. We conducted a survey of undergraduates about their arguments with parents and romantic partners. As predicted, the correlations between desire for change and withdrawal of support/affection and desire for change and avoidance were positive and statistically significant. A mediation analysis confirmed our hypotheses. The relationships between desire for change and withdrawal of support/affection and avoidance were mediated by self demand/other withdraw and hopelessness. Similarly, the relationships between desire for change and withdrawal of support/affection and avoidance were mediated by mutual hostility and hopelessness. We discuss implications for research on serial arguing, intractable conflict, and destructive communication behaviors.

I Thought We Settled This?! Antecedents and Consequences of Resolution of an Initial Episode in a Serial Argument

The serial arguing literature has largely ignored the notion of conflict resolution, as serial arguments are by definition repeated arguments about the same issue. The goals of the present research are to investigate the antecedents and consequences of believing a serial argument was resolved and the degree to which relational partners agree on resolution. We report three studies using secondary analysis of previously published data. In Studies 1 and 2, we found that many individuals erroneously believed that one or both parties thought the argument was initially resolved. In most cases, the respondent felt that issue was not resolved but believed the partner did. Thinking the issue was constructively resolved is positively related to reporting that constructive communication took place during the initial episode of the argument, and these constructive outcomes are negatively related to post-episodic mulling about the argument. The results of a dyadic analysis in Study 3 show that both initiators and targets think that their partners agree with them about whether the initial argument was resolved and most frequently think that both parties see the argument as not resolved. However, when looking at actual agreement as to whether the initial argument was resolved, we found that the perceptions of initiators and resistors were not significantly related.

The Impact of Demand/Withdraw Patterns on Health in Emerging Adults’ Serial Arguments with Parents

Reoccurring argumentative episodes are known as serial arguments. Prior research on serial arguing has shown that engaging in demand/withdraw patterns during episodes with a romantic partner is detrimental to ones physical and mental health. This study asked emerging adults to report on a serial argument with their parents. Emerging adult-demand/parent-withdraw was related to a disruption in ones daily activities due to health problems, and this relationship was mediated by the degree to which the participants felt hyperaroused. Contrary to our hypothesis, parent-demand/emerging adult-withdraw also was positively related to a disruption in daily activities. This relationship also was mediated by hyperarousal.

Argumentativeness and Hurtful Message Type: Their Relationship with Confrontation and Pressure to End Conflicts

Romantic partners sometimes say hurtful things to each other. After being hurt, individuals vary with regard to whether they confront their partners. This study investigated how argumentativeness and hurtful message type interact to influence whether a confrontation would take place. This study hypothesized that argumentativeness would be positively related to confronting the hurtful message and negatively related to pressure to end the confrontation, and this relationship would be stronger after an insult than a tease. Undergraduate daters were randomly assigned to indicate how they would respond to being teased or insulted by their partners. Argumentativeness was positively related to willingness to confront the partner, but no evidence was found that this relationship was moderated by hurtful message type. However, it was confirmed that the hypothesized interaction was related to pressure to end the conflict. This article discusses the implications of these findings for understanding and investigating hurtful messages, argumentativeness, and confrontations.