Eddie Brummelman

Origins of narcissism in children

Significance Narcissistic individuals feel superior to others, fantasize about personal successes, and believe they deserve special treatment. When they feel humiliated, they often lash out aggressively or even violently. Unfortunately, little is known about the origins of narcissism. Such knowledge is important for designing interventions to curtail narcissistic development. We demonstrate that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child. These findings show that narcissism is partly rooted in early socialization experiences, and suggest that parent-training interventions can help curtail narcissistic development and reduce its costs for society. Narcissism levels have been increasing among Western youth, and contribute to societal problems such as aggression and violence. The origins of narcissism, however, are not well understood. Here, we report, to our knowledge, the first prospective longitudinal evidence on the origins of narcissism in children. We compared two perspectives: social learning theory (positing that narcissism is cultivated by parental overvaluation) and psychoanalytic theory (positing that narcissism is cultivated by lack of parental warmth). We timed the study in late childhood (ages 7–12), when individual differences in narcissism first emerge. In four 6-mo waves, 565 children and their parents reported child narcissism, child self-esteem, parental overvaluation, and parental warmth. Four-wave cross-lagged panel models were conducted. Results support social learning theory and contradict psychoanalytic theory: Narcissism was predicted by parental overvaluation, not by lack of parental warmth. Thus, children seem to acquire narcissism, in part, by internalizing parents’ inflated views of them (e.g., “I am superior to others” and “I am entitled to privileges”). Attesting to the specificity of this finding, self-esteem was predicted by parental warmth, not by parental overvaluation. These findings uncover early socialization experiences that cultivate narcissism, and may inform interventions to curtail narcissistic development at an early age.

Separating Narcissism From Self-Esteem

Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by a sense of superiority and a desire for respect and admiration from others. A common belief, both in psychology and in popular culture, is that narcissism represents a form of excessive self-esteem. Psychologists, including ourselves, have labeled narcissism as “an exaggerated form of high self-esteem,” “inflated self-esteem,” and “defensive high self-esteem.” We review research that challenges this belief by showing that narcissism differs markedly from self-esteem in its phenotype, its consequences, its development, and its origins. Drawing on emerging developmental-psychological evidence, we propose a distinction between narcissism and self-esteem that is based on the divergent socialization experiences that give rise to them. This proposal clarifies previous findings, stimulates theory development, and creates opportunities for intervention to concurrently raise self-esteem and curtail narcissism from an early age.

“That’s Not Just Beautiful—That’s Incredibly Beautiful!” The Adverse Impact of Inflated Praise on Children With Low Self-Esteem

In current Western society, children are often lavished with inflated praise (e.g., “You made an incredibly beautiful drawing!”). Inflated praise is often given in an attempt to raise children’s self-esteem. An experiment (Study 1) and naturalistic study (Study 2) found that adults are especially inclined to give inflated praise to children with low self-esteem. This inclination may backfire, however. Inflated praise might convey to children that they should continue to meet very high standards—a message that might discourage children with low self-esteem from taking on challenges. Another experiment (Study 3) found that inflated praise decreases challenge seeking in children with low self-esteem and has the opposite effect on children with high self-esteem. These findings show that inflated praise, although well intended, may cause children with low self-esteem to avoid crucial learning experiences.

On feeding those hungry for praise : Person praise backfires in children with low self-esteem

Child-rearing experts have long believed that praise is an effective means to help children with low self-esteem feel better about themselves. But should one praise these children for who they are, or for how they behave? Study 1 (N = 357) showed that adults are inclined to give children with low self-esteem more person praise (i.e., praise for personal qualities) but less process praise (i.e., praise for behavior) than they give children with high self-esteem. This inclination may backfire, however. Study 2 (N = 313; M(age) = 10.4 years) showed that person praise, but not process praise, predisposes children, especially those with low self-esteem, to feel ashamed following failure. Consistent with attribution theory, person praise seems to make children attribute failure to the self. Together, these findings suggest that adults, by giving person praise, may foster in children with low self-esteem the very emotional vulnerability they are trying to prevent.

The resilience framework as a strategy to combat stress-related disorders

Consistent failure over the past few decades to reduce the high prevalence of stress-related disorders has motivated a search for alternative research strategies. Resilience refers to the phenomenon of many people maintaining mental health despite exposure to psychological or physical adversity. Instead of aiming to understand the pathophysiology of stress-related disorders, resilience research focuses on protective mechanisms that shield people against the development of such disorders and tries to exploit its insights to improve treatment and, in particular, disease prevention. To fully harness the potential of resilience research, a critical appraisal of the current state of the art — in terms of basic concepts and key methods — is needed. We highlight challenges to resilience research and make concrete conceptual and methodological proposals to improve resilience research. Most importantly, we propose to focus research on the dynamic processes of successful adaptation to stressors in prospective longitudinal studies.

Reply to Kealy et al.: Theoretical precision in the study of narcissism and its origins

We thank Kealy et al. (1) for noting that our article on the origins of narcissism (2) “is a notable contribution to the empirical literature” and “has important implications for helping parents foster appropriate and realistic self-views in their children.” However, they raise questions regarding the interpretation of our findings.

Does mindfulness meditation increase empathy? An experiment

Abstract Cultivating empathy is a presumed benefit of mindfulness, but this possibility has rarely been investigated experimentally. We examined whether a five-minute mindfulness exercise would cultivate empathy relative to two equally brief control exercises: relaxation and mind-wandering. We further examined whether mindfulness would be especially beneficial for people with autistic or narcissistic traits. Results showed no effect of mindfulness relative to both control conditions on mind reading, empathic responding, or prosocial behavior. Mindfulness effects were independent of autistic traits. Unexpectedly, people higher in autistic traits did show increased prosocial behavior across conditions. Intriguingly, mindfulness improved mind reading in non-narcissistic people, but reduced it in narcissistic people. These findings question whether a brief mindfulness exercise is sufficient for building empathy.

My Child Redeems My Broken Dreams: On Parents Transferring Their Unfulfilled Ambitions onto Their Child.

From the early days of psychology, theorists have observed that parents sometimes transfer their own unfulfilled ambitions onto their child. We propose that parents are especially inclined to do so when they see their child as part of themselves, more so than as a separate individual. When parents see their child as part of themselves, their child’s achievements may easily come to function as a surrogate for parents’ own unfulfilled ambitions. In the present experiment, 73 parents (89% women, M age = 43 years) were randomly assigned to reflect on either their own or others’ unfulfilled ambitions. Results showed that, when faced with their own unfulfilled ambitions, parents who see their child as part of themselves want their child to fulfill their unfulfilled ambitions. This study provides the first experimental evidence to suggest that parents may desire their child to redeem their broken dreams.

5-HTTLPR Expression Outside the Skin: An Experimental Test of the Emotional Reactivity Hypothesis in Children

Background There is increasing evidence that variation in the promoter region of the serotonin transporter gene SLC6A4 (i.e., the 5-HTTLPR polymorphism) moderates the impact of environmental stressors on child psychopathology. Emotional reactivity −the intensity of an individual’s response to other’s emotions− has been put forward as a possible mechanism underlying these gene-by-environment interactions (i.e., G×E). Compared to children homozygous for the L-allele (LL-genotypes), children carrying an S-allele (SS/SL-genotypes), specifically when they have been frequently exposed to negative emotions in the family environment, might be more emotionally reactive and therefore more susceptible to affective environmental stressors. However, the association between 5-HTTLPR and emotional reactivity in children has not yet been empirically tested. Therefore, the goal of this study was to test this association in a large-scale experiment. Methods Children (N = 521, 52.5% boys, Mage = 9.72 years) were genotyped and randomly assigned to happy, angry or neutral dynamic facial expressions and vocalizations. Motor and affective emotional reactivity were assessed through children’s self-reported negative and positive affect (n = 460) and facial electromyography activity (i.e., fEMG: the zygomaticus or “smile” muscle and the corrugator or “frown” muscle, n = 403). Parents reported on their negative and positive parenting behaviors. Results Children mimicked and experienced the emotion they were exposed to. However, neither motor reactivity nor affective reactivity to these emotions depended on children’s 5-HTTLPR genotype: SS/SL-genotypes did not manifest any stronger response to emotional stimuli than LL-genotypes. This finding remained the same when taking the broader family environment into account, controlling for kinship, age, gender and genetic ancestry, and when including a tri-allelic factor. Conclusions We found no evidence for an association between the 5-HTTLPR polymorphism and children’s emotional reactivity. This finding is important, in discounting one potential underlying endophenotype of G×E between the 5-HTTLPR and affective environmental stressors.

Unconditional Regard Buffers Children’s Negative Self-Feelings

BACKGROUND: Unconditional regard refers to the feeling that one is accepted and valued by others without conditions. Psychological theory suggests that experiences of unconditional regard lead children to feel that they are valuable despite setbacks. We hypothesized that reflecting on experiences of unconditional regard would buffer children’s negative self-feelings (eg, shame, insecurity, powerlessness) in the face of setbacks. To test this hypothesis, we randomized children to reflect on experiences of unconditional regard or other experiences, and examined their response to an academic setback 3 weeks later. METHODS: Participants (11–15 years old) were randomly assigned to reflect for 15 minutes on experiences of unconditional regard (n = 91), conditional regard (n = 80), or other social experiences (n = 76). Research personnel, teachers, and classmates remained blind to condition assignment. Three weeks later, after receiving their course grades, children reported their self-feelings. Course grades were obtained from school records. Receiving low course grades represents a salient and painful real-world setback for children. RESULTS: Replicating previous research, children who received lower grades experienced more negative self-feelings (P < .001). As predicted, this well-established relationship was significantly attenuated among children who had reflected, 3 weeks previously, on experiences of unconditional regard (Ps < .03). Reflecting on unconditional regard specifically reduced negative self-feelings after low grades (P = .01), not after average or high grades (Ps > .17). CONCLUSIONS: Reflecting on unconditional regard buffered children’s selves against the adverse impact of an academic setback over an extended period of time. Unconditional regard may thus be an important psychological lever to reduce negative self-feelings in youth.