Judith V. Jordan

The role of mutual empathy in relational/cultural therapy

Central to the notion of healing in connection is the power of mutual empathy in the therapeutic relationship. Isolation is a major source of human suffering and is often accompanied by immobilization, which prevents movement back into relationship after disconnections. Healing is seen as occurring in connection with others. In order for patients to relinquish strategies of disconnection and shift their negative expectations in relationships, they must actually experience a sense of relational efficacy, of having an impact on the other person, the therapist. This happens when the therapist is emotionally present, attuned, therapeutically authentic, and working with the connections and disconnections in the therapy relationship itself. In this way, people begin to move back into growth-fostering relationships, expecting that others may respond empathically and finding that they can be effective in shifting and moving relationships in ways that allow them to bring themselves more fully into relationship, to be more whole and authentic.

Recent Developments in Relational-Cultural Theory

In 1976 Jean Baker Miller wrote Toward a New Psychology of Women, a groundbreaking book that documented the ways in which women’s reality was not being represented in traditional psychological theories. She also pointed to the power of context, the importance of socio-political forces in shaping human development, and the centrality of relationships in women’s lives. The book further began to consider the ways in which women’s strengths were viewed as weaknesses. In 1978 a group of four women began meeting to discuss the ways in which the psychology of women continued to mis-represent women’s experience. Jean Baker Miller was at the core of this group; she was joined by Irene Stiver, Judith Jordan and Janet Surrey. This group found an institutional home at the Stone Center of Wellesley College when Jean was appointed its first director in 1981. And in 1995 The Jean Baker Miller Training Institute was formed to develop the theory building and developmental/clinical aspects of this work. Since 1981, we

Relational Resilience in Girls

This chapter, mainly theoretical in orientation, also reviews recent research on resilience and gender. The theoretical orientation represented here is known as relational-cultural theory (RCT). At the core of this work is the belief that all psychological growth occurs in relationships, and that movement out of relationship (chronic disconnection) into isolation constitutes the source of much psychological suffering. Moving away from a “separate self” model of development, RCT also suggests that resilience resides not in the individual but in the capacity for connection. A model of relational resilience is presented. Mutual empathy, empowerment, and the development of courage are the building blocks of this resilience. Although this chapter seeks to explicate the importance of relational resilience for girls, it also suggests that growth-fostering connections are the source of resilience for both boys and girls.

Growth-Promoting Relationships Between Youth and Adults: A Focus Group Study

The purpose of this exploratory study was to listen to young peoples descriptions of their experiences in and understandings of their relationships with the important adults in their lives using relational-cultural theory as the guiding framework. The authors conducted 7 focus groups with ethnically and socioeconomically diverse children and adolescents ages 7 to 18 years (N = 91) who were participants in a range of community groups. A thematic analysis of the focus group transcripts highlighted the high value these youth placed on respect, mutuality, and authenticity in their relationships with adults. These youth also poignantly described their desire for strong relationships with adults and the barriers that unfortunately and too often seemed to get in the way.

WOMEN AND THE WORKPLACE: APPLICATIONS OF A PSYCHODYNAMIC THEORY

It is a great pleasure to be able to write to honor Allie Symonds. Allie was a staunch fighter for the betterment of women, and thereby for everyone. We are very happy to have this opportunity to contribute in this small way to this tribute to Allie. Her courage and energetic action are all too rare. They have served as an inspiration to many, and we hope will continue to do so for many more. Two of us (Jordan and Miller) worked with her on several projects in the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and the American Psychiatric Association. We did not always agree on everything, but we enjoyed vigorous discussions and learned from each other over the years. We have a feeling that Allie would enjoy hearing about the work that follows. We would like to illustrate how current psychoanalytic thinking can extend beyond the realm of treatment and offer a starting point for a new approach to the very definition of work. It may be difficult to remember that only a short time ago women in the workplace would not have been a serious topic. Women have always worked both at home and in fields and factories. However, with the Industrial Revolution, the workplace became a male domain and women’s place was in the home—even if women continued to work in paid labor, which many women still did. The two spheres operated on different principles and different values. What happens when women enter the modern workplace? Do they take on the characteristics prescribed for men, that is, do work as it has been defined by men? Do they do things differently? And what is their experience in these organizations? Is their presence in greater numbers in the managerial ranks having an effect on organizations and the values that have guided organizational practices and structures? What of the workplace itself? In the

Learning at the Margin: New Models of Strength

SUMMARY This article was originally presented at the April, 2000 Learning from Women Conference sponsored by the Harvard Medical School and the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute. It explores the ways in which marginalization and the use of power-over maneuvers and privilege contribute to disconnection at a personal and societal level. Strength in vulnerability is proposed as an alternative to strength in isolation. The author suggests that courage is created in connection and the distorting effects of the myth of the separate-self must be challenged in order to appreciate the power of connection. This article examines specific ways to resist the disconnecting and disempowering effects of hyper-individualistic values both in and out of therapy.

Commitment to Connection in a Culture of Fear

SUMMARY This article was originally presented at the May 2004 Learning from Women Conference sponsored by Harvard Medical School and the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute. It examines the ways in which cultural and personal denial of fear and vulnerability contribute to a sense of isolation. Fear is manipulated in hierarchical settings to ensure the preservation of existing power arrangements. In a culture built on exploitation of fear, people do not experience the safety necessary to let their inevitable vulnerabilities show. Unmitigated chronic fear is an unsafe context that leads to a traumatic sense of disempowerment and personal immobilization, whether it is in war, childhood sexual abuse, living with a battering partner, or, perhaps in a more subtle way, in being immersed in massages of un-safety, danger, and having no influence in the larger public domain. Through mutual empathy we can heal these places of fear and disconnection. Mutual empathy arises in a context of profound respect, authentic responsiveness, humility, non-defensiveness, an attitude of curiosity, mindfulness (staying with the “not knowing”), and an appreciation of the power of learning. Movement out of isolation helps us pass through fear to hope and ultimately leads to growth and more connection.

Valuing Vulnerability: New Definitions of Courage

SUMMARY In a dominant, Western culture that celebrates strength in separation and holds unrealistic expectations for independent, autonomous functioning, vulnerability is seen as a handicap. This system creates the illusion of an invulnerable and separate self, and uses individualistic standards to measure a persons worth. Since these unrealistic expectations cannot be humanly attained, these controlling images become the source of shame and disconnection. RCT suggests that there is value in embracing vulnerability and in providing support, both at an individual and a societal level, for the inevitable vulnerability of all people. Rather than espousing the individual, mostly mythical, traits of a “lone hero,” RCT moves us toward new and important pathways to resilience and courage through connection. A version of this article was originally presented at the 2002 Learning from Women Conference, co-sponsored by Harvard Medical School and the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute.

Losing Certainty and Finding Voice: One Therapist's Reflections on Doing Therapy in the Last Third of Life

In this autobiographical and personal paper, the author addresses her development of voice and confidence in a relational model of healing over a period of 35 years. Departing from the “objective” and impersonal journal style typically privileged in peer-reviewed journals, this article places the development of relationship at the center of therapeutic change. It honors the question “who tells the story and who does the telling serve?” Thus a retrospective, anecdotal, personal introduction to this author, developing this theory (Relational-Cultural Theory) is at the core. In the course of reading it, the author hopes that younger practitioners will find validation and/or inspiration to listen themselves and others into creative voice. That is another facet of working in clinical settings in the latter years: to encourage new voices, new practices, and to engender hope in the abiding resilience of the human spirit.