Meg Barker

Whatever happened to non-monogamies? Critical reflections on recent research and theory

The last decade has seen an explosion of interest in consensually non-monogamous relationships. This article critically reviews current research and theory in this area, focusing particularly on polyamory, swinging, and gay open relationships. The sociohistorical context in which these forms of relating emerged is considered and discussed in order to better understand why there has been such a significant increase in scholarly work on non-monogamies at this moment. Furthermore, we categorize the extant literature into two groups, ‘celebratory’ and ‘critical’, and argue that such polarization frequently works to reinforce partial and dichotomizing understandings of the topic. Research so far has primarily concentrated on the rules and boundaries which people employ to manage such relationships and we contend that future work needs to pay more attention to diversities of meanings and practices, intersections with other identities and communities, and the troubling of dichotomous understandings.

THIS IS MY PARTNER, AND THIS IS MY … PARTNER'S PARTNER: CONSTRUCTING A POLYAMOROUS IDENTITY IN A MONOGAMOUS WORLD

According to the writings of members of the polyamorous community, polyamory is a type of nonmonogamous relationship orientation in which it is considered acceptable to love more than one person and emphasis is placed on openness and honesty within ones relationships. The proliferation of websites, E-mail groups and books on the topic since the mid 1990s mean that polyamory can be seen as a burgeoning sexual story (Plummer, 1995). However, very little has been written academically on the topic, despite its fascinating potential to challenge mainstream discourses of monogamy and infidelity and to reveal the constructed nature of “compulsory heterosexuality” (Rich, 1980). In this article I draw on social constructionist and personal construct psychology perspectives to examine the ways in which polyamorous individuals construct their personal and group identities in relation to conventional monogamy and to explore the implications of polyamory for a persons own sense of self.

‘There Aren’t Words for What We Do or How We Feel So We Have To Make Them Up’: Constructing Polyamorous Languages in a Culture of Compulsory Monogamy

Polyamory is an emerging sexual story that troubles mononormativity: the dominant discourse of monogamy which is reproduced and perpetuated in everyday conversation and saturates mainstream media depictions. Through an analysis of online discussions, websites and self-help books, this article explores the ways in which members of polyamorous communities construct their identities through language. We argue that the potentials of polyamory are, to some extent, constrained by the conventional mononormative language of partnerships, infidelities and jealousy. However, alternative languages are emerging which offer new discursive possibilities for the development of polyamorous identities, relationships and emotions.

Non-binary or genderqueer genders

Abstract Some people have a gender which is neither male nor female and may identify as both male and female at one time, as different genders at different times, as no gender at all, or dispute the very idea of only two genders. The umbrella terms for such genders are ‘genderqueer’ or ‘non-binary’ genders. Such gender identities outside of the binary of female and male are increasingly being recognized in legal, medical and psychological systems and diagnostic classifications in line with the emerging presence and advocacy of these groups of people. Population-based studies show a small percentage – but a sizable proportion in terms of raw numbers – of people who identify as non-binary. While such genders have been extant historically and globally, they remain marginalized, and as such – while not being disorders or pathological in themselves – people with such genders remain at risk of victimization and of minority or marginalization stress as a result of discrimination. This paper therefore reviews the limited literature on this field and considers ways in which (mental) health professionals may assist the people with genderqueer and non-binary gender identities and/or expressions they may see in their practice. Treatment options and associated risks are discussed.

II. Bisexuality: Working with a Silenced Sexuality:

At psychotherapy supervision one of my colleagues presented a male client who was in a sexual relationship with a woman but defined himself as gay. After some group discussion of whether the label ‘heterosexual’ or ‘gay’ was most appropriate for him, I suggested that there might be other possibilities if he wanted a description of his sexuality. The group appeared baffled until I offered: ‘well I’m bisexual’.

British Bisexuality: A Snapshot of Bisexual Representations and Identities in the United Kingdom

This article summarizes the state of bisexuality in the United Kingdom today. First the authors provide an overview of the United Kingdom Bisexual Conference (BiCon) and the studies conducted at the Conference by the Bisexual Research Group in the summer of 2004. Then they provide an in-depth examination of the representations of bisexuality in the British media to give a picture of the prevailing context in which U.K. bisexuals live. Following this they present the results of the two pieces of research: a survey questionnaire and a focus group discussion. The purpose of this research was to produce a report by and for the U.K. bisexual community on the kind of people who attend this BiCon and their understandings and experiences of bisexuality. Specifically they focus on who constitutes the active bisexual community, how they identify themselves, and what bisexuality means to them in relation to the dominant societal perceptions of bisexuality exemplified in the mainstream media. The authors conclude with some reflections on the U.K. bisexual dcommunity today and the possibilities and pitfalls in embarking on such research in this area.

Consent is a grey area? A comparison of understandings of consent in Fifty Shades of Grey and on the BDSM blogosphere

Whilst the Fifty Shades trilogy has increased public awareness of BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism), the understandings of consent depicted in the novels remain reflective of those prevalent in wider heteronormative culture. Responsibility for consenting is located within the individual (woman) and consent relates to sex rather than to the relationship as a whole. This contrasts with understandings of consent currently emerging on the BDSM blogosphere where the locus of responsibility is shifting from individuals to communities, and the concept is opening up to encompass awareness of intersecting social power dynamics and interactions beyond the sexual arena.

Guidelines for Researching and Writing About Bisexuality

The authors are a group of researchers and writers who work on bisexuality, organize bisexual research conferences, and take part in discussions on many bisexual and lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer (LGBTQ) academic forums. The authors have noticed, over the years, many problematic tendencies in research that focuses on, or includes, bisexuals. The authors therefore felt that it would be useful to come up with a list of ‘good practice’ guidelines for people researching and writing in this area. These should be particularly useful to those new to the area when they send out their calls for participants, to avoid alienating those participants or finding themselves ‘reinventing the wheel’ with their studies. Hopefully, the guidelines will also be helpful for experienced researchers to reflect on their research practices.

Sexualisation’s four faces: sexualisation and gender stereotyping in the Bailey Review

This paper explores the considerations of sexualisation and gender stereotyping in the recent UK government report Letting Children be Children. This report, the Bailey Review, claimed to represent the views of parents. However, closer reading reveals that, while the parents who were consulted were concerned about both the sexualisation and the gender stereotyping of products aimed at children, the Bailey Review focuses only on the former and dismisses the latter. ‘Sexualisation’ has four faces in the Bailey Review: it is treated as a process that increases (1) the visibility of sexual content in the public domain, (2) misogyny, (3) the sexuality of children, and (4) the mainstream position of ‘deviant’ sexual behaviours and lifestyles. Through this construction of ‘sexualisation’, gendered relations of power are not only hidden from view but also buttress a narrative in which young women are situated as children, and their sexuality and desire rendered pathological and morally unacceptable as judged by a conservative standard of decency. Comparison of the treatment of sexualisation and gender stereotyping in the review is revealing of the political motivations behind it, and of wider discourse in these areas.

Existential sex therapy

This paper considers what existential psychotherapy has to offer the ever-expanding field of sex therapy. First it considers the critical stance that existential psychotherapy takes towards diagnosis and categorisation, explaining why it is important for sex therapists to engage critically with notions of “sexual dysfunction” and suggesting ways in which we might work with clients around the losses and gains of various labels. Following this, existential therapy is briefly outlined and applied to sexual issues, drawing particularly on the work of Peggy Kleinplatz and Irving Yalom as well as the authors own client work. Three aspects of existential therapy are explored in depth: the focus on clients lived experience; the multiple meanings they may have around sex; and the importance of considering the various dimensions of existence. Throughout this latter half of the paper, examples will be given where sex therapists worked with existential themes (including how to live a meaningful life, how to relate to others, mortality and the freedom to choose).