Nancy K. Grote

Why Aren't Indices of Relationship Costs Always Negatively Related to Indices of Relationship Quality?:

Many researchers have made the seemingly straightforward predictions that relationship rewards will be positively, and relationship costs will be negatively, associated with indices of relationship quality. Existing literature supports the hypothesis for rewards, but evidence regarding costs is mixed. Depending on the study, indices of costs have been observed to be negatively associated, unassociated, and even positively associated with relationship quality. We argue that the mixed results may have been due in part to past cost measures tapping three separate constructs: (a) a partners intentional poor behavior directed at the participant, (b) negative things associated with the relationship (but not caused by the partners intentional behavior), and (c) behaving in such a manner as to meet a partners needs—something which often may involve performing undesirable activities, foregoing desired opportunities, or giving up money, time, or goods. We believe the first two types of costs should be negatively associated with relationship quality. However, we argue that the last type, because it involves adhering to communal norms (Clark & Mills, 1979, 1993) will often tend to be either negligibly or even positively associated with relationship quality. In two studies the occurrence of these three categories of events in close relationships as well as the quality of those relationships were measured. The overall pattern of results supports our specific hypotheses as well as the general idea that a lack of conceptual clarity regarding “costs” has contributed to the current mixed nature of our literature on links between relationship costs and relationship quality.

Perceiving the division of family work to be unfair: do social comparisons, enjoyment, and competence matter?

Past research has revealed that women, working or not, perform more family labor (i.e., housework and child care) than do men. Yet, women often do not perceive this as unfair. Drawing on the theoretical work of L. Thompson (1991) and B. Major (1993), the authors hypothesized that this paradox might be explained by women perceiving greater fairness in the lopsided division of family work (a) when they compare the amount of family work they do with other women (who perform similar amounts) rather than with the spouse; (b) when they enjoy performing family work; and/or (c) when they and their spouses believe that they are especially competent at family work. Data from a 3-panel, longitudinal study of married couples expecting their first child were consistent with the second and third predictions but not the first. Further, prospective analyses suggested that perceiving inequity in family work leads wives and husbands to make more frequent comparisons with the spouse and sometimes with same-sex others.

Love, Aggression and Satisfaction in Dating Relationships

This study examined (1) whether certain lovestyles facilitate aggression in dating relationships and (2) the effects of aggression on relationship satisfaction (i.e. its main, mediating and moderating effects). The sample consisted of 149 female undergraduate students involved in an ongoing heterosexual dating relationship. Multiple regression analyses indicated that Mania was the strongest predictor of courtship aggression. In terms of the impact of aggression on relationship satisfaction, aggression had a main effect on satisfaction as well as moderated the relationship between certain lovestyles and satisfaction. However, aggression did not mediate the association between lovestyles and satisfaction. The implications of, and some possible explanations for, these findings are discussed.

Distributive Justice Norms and Family Work: What Is Perceived as Ideal, What Is Applied, and What Predicts Perceived Fairness?

Members of married couples rated how ideal communal, exchange, and equality rules were for their marriages. They also reported on whether they and their spouses followed each norm in general in their marriages and in the domains of housework and child care. Both men and women considered a communal norm to be more ideal than the other norms and reported that they and their spouse followed a communal norm to a greater extent than an exchange or equality rule, both in general and in the domains of housework and child care. In addition, links between reports of actual division of labor in each domain, as well as reports of norm use, and perceived fairness of the division of family work were examined. Greater inequalities in the division of labor were linked to decreased perceptions of fairness. Controlling for reports of division of labor, womens reports of the self and of the spouse following a communal norm were linked with increased perceptions of fairness as were womens reports of the spouse following an equality rule. In contrast, and again after controlling for reports of division of labor, womens reports of the self following an exchange rule and mens reports of the self and of the spouse following an exchange rule were associated with greater perceived unfairness of the division of family work.

`Remembrance of Things Past': Perceptions of Marital Love from its Beginnings to the Present:

How do married men and women remember their love for their spouse at the beginning of the relationship before marriage and how do they currently perceive their marital love? A total of 581 middle-aged adults, 44 to 47 years old, married an average of 18 years, was surveyed regarding four types of love (Eros, Ludus, Friendship-based Love and Agape) at two relationship stages-retrospectively, at the beginning of the love relationship with their current spouse and currently in the marriage. Findings showed that the perceived strength of erotic and ludic love was higher at the beginning than it was currently for both men and women, and the perceived strength of agapic love was higher currently than it was thought to have been at the beginning, but only for men. The perceived degree of Friendship-based Love (FBL) remained the same across stages. Results also indicated that men and women differed in love experiences to a greater extent at the beginning of the relationship than currently. Most importantly, changes in perceptions of love appeared to have meaningful implications for the current affective quality of the marriage for men and women. Shifts in perceptions of erotic, ludic, friendship-based and agapic love predicted marital satisfaction as well as other salient relationship characteristics, such as sexual satisfaction, non-monogamy, relying upon ones spouse for help and comfort, as well as spending time with, feeling close to, respecting and helping ones spouse.