Nickola C. Overall

Warm and Homely or Cold and Beautiful? Sex Differences in Trading Off Traits in Mate Selection

Prior research and theory suggest that people use three main sets of criteria in mate selection: warmth/trustworthiness, attractiveness/vitality, and status/resources. In two studies, men and women made mating choices between pairs of hypothetical potential partners and were forced to make trade-offs among these three criteria (e.g., warm and homely vs. cold and attractive). As predicted, women (relative to men) placed greater importance on warmth/trustworthiness and status/resources in a potential mate but less importance on attractiveness/vitality. In addition, as expected (a) ratings of ideal standards partly mediated the link between sex and mate choices, (b) ideal standards declined in importance from long-term to short-term relationships, with the exception of attractiveness/vitality, and unexpectedly, (c) sex differences were higher for long-term (compared to short-term) mate choice. Explanations and implications are discussed.

Mapping the Intimate Relationship Mind: Comparisons between Three Models of Attachment Representations

This study compared three models of how attachment working models might be cognitively represented. Model 1 posits that attachment representations consist of a single global working model summarizing attachment across specific relationships and domains. Model 2 proposes three independent working models for the relationship domains of family, platonic friendships, and romantic partners. Model 3 postulates that specific relationship models are nested under relationship domain representations that are, in turn, nested under an overarching global working model. Participants completed standard attachment scales for the relationship domains of family, platonic friendships, and romantic partners and also provided attachment ratings for three specific relationships within each domain. As expected, confirmatory factor analyses showed that Model 3 attained the best fit, regardless of analysis strategy, measurement strategy, gender, and relationship status. Implications are discussed.

Regulating Partners in Intimate Relationships: The Costs and Benefits of Different Communication Strategies

This study tested the success of communication strategies used by relationship partners (N = 61 romantic couples) who were videotaped while trying to produce desired changes in each other. Strategies varying in valence (positive vs. negative) and directness (direct vs. indirect) were differentially associated with postdiscussion perceptions of success as well as ratings of demonstrated change in targeted features gathered at 3-month intervals during the following year. Direct strategies (positive and negative) were initially perceived as relatively unsuccessful but predicted increased change over the next 12 months as reported by the targeted partners and (for positive-direct strategies) as perceived by female agents. Positive-indirect strategies, in contrast, were associated with higher concurrent perceived success but did not predict later change. Increases in problem severity also forecasted lower relationship quality over time. These findings indicate that one mechanism through which regulation strategies impact relationship outcomes is the extent to which engaged strategies are successful at producing desired change.

Regulation processes in intimate relationships: The role of ideal standards

This research investigated the consistency between partner perceptions and ideal standards (ideal-perception consistency) and the partner regulation attempts of 200 individuals involved in relationships (Study 1) and 62 heterosexual couples (Study 2). As predicted, greater regulation attempts were associated with lower ideal-perception consistency, and these links operated within 3 pivotal mate-evaluation dimensions and were moderated by perceived regulation success. Ideal-perception consistency also mediated the relation between partner regulation and relationship quality, and cross-lagged analyses suggested that ideal consistency and regulation influenced each other over time. Finally, stronger partner regulation was generally associated with more negative self-evaluations and more self-regulation by the targeted partner. These novel results support and extend the Ideal Standards Model (J. A. Simpson, G. J. O. Fletcher, & L. Campbell, 2001).

Pair-Bonding, Romantic Love, and Evolution The Curious Case of Homo sapiens

This article evaluates a thesis containing three interconnected propositions. First, romantic love is a “commitment device” for motivating pair-bonding in humans. Second, pair-bonding facilitated the idiosyncratic life history of hominins, helping to provide the massive investment required to rear children. Third, managing long-term pair bonds (along with family relationships) facilitated the evolution of social intelligence and cooperative skills. We evaluate this thesis by integrating evidence from a broad range of scientific disciplines. First, consistent with the claim that romantic love is an evolved commitment device, our review suggests that it is universal; suppresses mate-search mechanisms; has specific behavioral, hormonal, and neuropsychological signatures; and is linked to better health and survival. Second, we consider challenges to this thesis posed by the existence of arranged marriage, polygyny, divorce, and infidelity. Third, we show how the intimate relationship mind seems to be built to regulate and monitor relationships. Fourth, we review comparative evidence concerning links among mating systems, reproductive biology, and brain size. Finally, we discuss evidence regarding the evolutionary timing of shifts to pair-bonding in hominins. We conclude there is interdisciplinary support for the claim that romantic love and pair-bonding, along with alloparenting, played critical roles in the evolution of Homo sapiens.

Helping Each Other Grow: Romantic Partner Support, Self-Improvement, and Relationship Quality

This research tested whether and how partners’ support of self-improvement efforts influences recipients’ relationship evaluations and self-improvement success. Study 1 provided an initial test of predictions using self-reports (N = 150). Study 2 assessed support behavior exhibited in couples’ (N = 47) discussions of self-improvement desires, and tracked relationship quality and self-improvement every 3 months for 1 year. More nurturing and action-facilitating partner support was more helpful to recipients, whereas partners who criticized and invalidated recipients were less helpful. Receiving more help from the partner, in turn, predicted greater relationship quality and more self-improvement. More negative support seeking also predicted lower self-improvement because recipients’ behavior elicited less partner help. These effects were not attributable to partners’ general warmth and understanding, global self or relationship evaluations, how much recipients desired or tried to change, or whether targeted attributes posed relationship problems. This research documents the powerful influence that partners’ help has on recipients’ personal growth.

Partner Buffering of Attachment Insecurity

Compared with securely attached people, insecurely attached people have romantic relationships that are less happy and more unstable, but the quality of their relationships should depend on how their partners regulate them. Some partners find ways to buffer (emotionally and behaviorally regulate) insecurely attached individuals, which helps such individuals feel better and behave more constructively and improves the relationship. Understanding when and how this important interpersonal process works requires a dyad-centered approach. The present research describes core tenets of attachment theory and the two forms of attachment insecurity (anxiety and avoidance) and presents our dyadic regulation model of insecurity buffering, which explains how and why certain types of buffering behaviors soothe the worries and improve the relationship perceptions and behaviors of anxious or avoidant people. Studies that illustrate ways in which partners can successfully buffer the insecure reactions of anxious and avoidant individuals are reviewed, and other traits and social contexts to which our model can be applied are also discussed.

When Visibility Matters Short-Term Versus Long-Term Costs and Benefits of Visible and Invisible Support

Sixty-one couples engaged in two video-recorded discussions in which one partner (the support recipient) discussed a personal goal with the other partner (the support provider). The support provider’s visible and invisible support behaviors were coded by independent raters. Measures of perceived support, discussion success, and support recipients’ distress during the discussion were gathered. Recipients also reported their goal achievement at 3-month intervals over the following year. Greater visible emotional support was associated with greater perceived support and discussion success for highly distressed recipients, but it was costly for nondistressed recipients who reported lower discussion success. In contrast, greater invisible emotional support was not associated with perceived support or discussion success, but it predicted greater goal achievement across time. These results advance our current understanding of support processes by indicating that the costs and benefits of visible support hinge on recipients’ needs, whereas invisible support shapes recipients’ long-term goal achievement.

When Bias and Insecurity Promote Accuracy Mean-Level Bias and Tracking Accuracy in Couples’ Conflict Discussions

Heterosexual couples (N = 57) discussed features about each other they wanted to change. During a review of their recorded discussions, for each 30 s of interaction, perceivers provided judgments of their partner’s regard, and partners reported their actual regard for the perceiver. The authors simultaneously assessed the extent to which perceivers’ over- or underestimated their partner’s regard (mean-level bias) and tracked their partner’s changing regard across the discussion (tracking accuracy). Perceivers on average tended to underestimate their partner’s regard (negative mean-level bias) but exhibited substantial tracking accuracy. Bias and accuracy were related; perceivers that were more negatively biased more accurately tracked changes in their partner’s regard. Women who were more insecure about their partner’s continued regard demonstrated more negative mean-level bias and greater tracking accuracy, whereas more secure women demonstrated more positive bias and lower accuracy. The results indicate that bias and accuracy are shaped by context-relevant goals and motives.

Biased and Accurate Depressive Symptoms and Daily Perceptions Within Intimate Relationships

Are depressive symptoms associated with more biased or more accurate interpersonal perceptions? Both members of committed heterosexual couples (N = 78) reported on their perceptions of their partner’s commitment and behavior daily across a 3-week period. Using the partner’s reports as the benchmark, participants who reported more depressive symptoms not only underestimated their partner’s commitment and overestimated their partner’s negative behavior (greater directional bias) but were also more accurate in tracking changes in their partner’s commitment and behavior across days (greater tracking accuracy). More negative perceptions of the partner’s commitment and behavior was also associated with increases in relationship insecurity and depressed mood, particularly when the partner also reported lower commitment and more negative behavior. These results indicate that depressive symptoms are associated with both more accurate and more biased interpersonal perceptions and suggest that more accurate detection and more biased magnification of interpersonal threat has important implications for the maintenance of depressed mood.