Wendy A. Goldberg

Is There a Social Clock for Men

There has been a growing trend in the past two decades toward delayed parenthood for reasons ranging from increased educational attainment and uncertainty in the economic environment to the large number of women making long-term commitments to the labor force. Despite the later age at first birth, adults, particularly women, are acutely aware that there are constraints on the timing of parenthood. Popular culture is familiar with women in their twenties and thirties voicing concerns about the looming biological clock and its ramifications for their attainment of pregnancy and motherhood. Scientific evidence underscores these concerns. The odds of a fertile 30-year-old woman conceiving are 20% per cycle; by age 40, the odds fall to 5% per cycle, and the risks of miscarriage and chromosomal abnormalities rise dramatically with advanced maternal age (American Society for Reproductive Medicine, 2012). A 42-year-old woman has less than a 10% chance of having a baby with her own ova, even with advanced reproductive techniques (Centers for Disease Control, 2006). In stark contrast, the apparent ease with which highly visible Hollywood notables and television celebrities such as Warren Beatty, David Lettermen, and Steve Martin waltzed into first-time fatherhood and numerous other well-known men had additional children in their sixth and seventh decades makes men seem impervious to the limits of a biological clock.

Intergenerational Relationships and the Timing of Fatherhood

Several theoretical traditions call attention to intergenerational influences in parenting. From a developmental perspective, one can ask, “From where do fathering attitudes and behaviors come?” Childhood socialization theories emphasize parents as agents of socialization. Observational learning theories remind us that parents serve as models for acquired behaviors (Hartup & Coates, 1970; Bandura, 1977). Through this mechanism, boys observe their fathers and learn salient information about being a father through that process (Bandura & Huston, 1961). Following the early work in this area, cognitive and affective processes were woven into theory and research to understand which gender-role behaviors were likely to be attended to and learned (Maccoby, 1992; Martin, Ruble, & Szkrybalo, 2002). Of course, influences on gender-role development extend beyond the family and are influenced by individual factors such as cognitive-information processing mechanisms (Bussey & Bandura, 1999). Moreover, as reviewed in Chapter 1, life span and life course theories highlight the importance of development beyond childhood.

Fathers and Their Babies: Does Timing Matter?

Now the baby has arrived! In this chapter, we see how the social clock and psychological clock indicators are associated with new fathers’ thoughts about the role of the father and their parenting views, attitudes, and experiences. The chapter concludes with new fathers’ advice to other men who are transitioning to parenthood.

Couple Time: Marital Quality and the Timing of Fatherhood

Marriage is the domain most studied in investigations of the transition to parenthood. Change in marital quality, often defined as marital satisfaction, conflict, and coalition (Erel & Burman, 1995), has been the focus of numerous empirical investigations in psychology and sociology. LeMasters’ (1957) study and subsequent journal article, “Parenthood as a crisis,” seems to have been news indeed and inspired a cascade of research investigations, including numerous dissertations (Cowan, Cowan, Heming, Garrett, Coysh, Curtis-Boles, & Boles, 1985). The shift from husband-wife dyad to family triad exposes the spousal relationship to challenges as domestic and work roles are ripe for change and opportunities for interaction — and conflict — increase. But, is decline in marital quality inevitable as couples become parents? In 1963, Dyer countered LeMasters’ declaration of parenthood as a “crisis” or “critical event.” The conclusions reached after several decades of research that commenced in the 1950s strongly suggested that parenthood is a very real challenge for some couples, but that not all couples became more dissatisfied with their marriage because of the baby (Cowan & Cowan, 1988). For a non-trivial proportion of couples, the advent of parenthood is associated with either stability in marital satisfaction or increased satisfaction (e.g., Feldman, 1971; Cowan & Cowan, 1995).

The Inner Self: Identity, Well-being, and Personality Characteristics of Expectant and New Fathers

In this chapter, the first section focuses on identity as a father and identity change ushered in by the transition to parenthood. Identities are internalized role expectations (Stryker, 1987) and self-meanings in a role (LaRossa & Reitzes, 1993). The second section of the chapter continues with the internal theme by examining aspects of well-being in relation to the timing of fatherhood. Both positive affective elements (e.g., comfort with closeness in relationships) and negative affective elements (e.g., depressive symptoms) are examined. In the final section of this chapter on the inner self, we examine which social and psychological clock indicators are associated with aspects of men’s personalities.

The Timing of Fatherhood: What Have We Learned?

In this book, we examined a construct associated with age but one that is more than age: the social clock. This construct refers to societal expectations for the timing of major life events. These socially sanctioned normative ages can motivate adults to seek to attain a life goal. The social clock was vetted as a mechanism for understanding many facets of men’s transition to parenthood. And the transition to parenthood epitomizes a major life event. As Eggebeen and colleagues put it recently, “parenthood is permanent” and, not surprisingly, it has psychological consequences for men (Eggebeen, Knoester, & McDaniel, 2013, p. 343). And pregnancy is not for women only! Preparation for parenthood entails psychological reorganization of the self (Genesoni & Tallandini, 2009). Men experience changes in self and key domains of their lives during the prenatal period as they get ready for fatherhood.

Men in Transition

Fathers are enjoying a renaissance in American culture. Far from forgotten, fathers now abound in film, television, and books. If we look to the film industry, we find a plethora of films about fathers. Fathers were featured in some older films such as Father of the Bride (1950) and Kramer vs. Kramer (1979), but have become more prevalent, for example in the remakes of Father of the Bride (1991 and its sequel in 1995), Field of Dreams (1989), Boyz’n the Hood (1991), My Architect (2003), Big Fish (2003), Beginners (2010), and the charming Finding Nemo (2003). Fathers in film are portrayed alternatively in traditional or non-traditional roles, as malevolent or compassionate patriarchs, as wise or foolish men, and as close to or estranged from their partners and children. Films such as Three Men and a Baby (1987), Knocked Up (2007), and The Pursuit of Happyness (2006) illustrate the transforming power of parenthood as men adapt their lives to this experience.

Why Do Men Want to Become Parents

Evolutionary, cultural, and psychological factors work alone and together to motivate adults to become parents. Conception, rooted as it is in human biology, was rendered more susceptible to influence by psychological dispositions once it could be controlled by contraception and terminated by abortion. How do these psychological factors operate on childbearing? From one theoretical perspective (Miller, 1994) that draws on a theory of reasoned action, motives for wanting children and attitudes toward children and parenthood become transformed into decisions and intentions about childbearing, which then lead to behaviors that promote fertility. The personality traits of nurturance, affiliation, and autonomy are strong predictors of the motivation to have children (Miller, 1995), as are life-cycle experiences (Miller, 1992). Level of educational attainment often is found to have a negative association with childbearing motivations and fertility.

Time to Work: Work Involvement and the Timing of Fatherhood

Children are expensive! In the US today, estimates for yearly child-rearing expenses are

Any Time for Fun

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