Zick Rubin

Loving and leaving: Sex differences in romantic attachments

We propose a two-part generalization about sex differences in entering into and giving up romantic attachments: (1) Men tend to fall in love more readily than women; (2) women tend to fall out of love more readily than men. Evidence in support of these generalizations is derived from a longitudinal study of 231 college student dating couples. The data suggest that women are more cautious than men about entering into romantic relationships, more likely to compare these relationships to alternatives, more likely to end a relationship that seems ill fated, and better able to cope with rejection. We consider several possible explanations of these sex differences from the standpoints of psychoanalytic theory, the social and economic context of mate selection, and the socialization of men and women in the management of their own emotions. To evaluate these (and any other) explanations, further research might profitably investigate whether and to what degree these sex differences are found in other segments of the population.

How Parents Influence Their Children's Friendships

Friendships are among the central ingredients of children’s lives, from as early as age 3 and, in some cases, even earlier. Children’s relationships with their peers directly affect their well-being, provide an opportunity to learn and practice social skills, and may establish enduring patterns of relating to others (cf. Rubin, 1980). Parents typically recognize the importance of children’s friendships and often try to help their children establish and maintain rewarding friendships. Even parents who have no specific intention of influencing their child’s friendships can hardly avoid doing so, through the settings they choose to live in, their reactions to the child’s social behavior, and the values they convey through their own relationships with others. Whether or not these parental influences are intended, and whether or not they are recognized by the parents themselves, they are among parents’ most important legacies to their children.

Contraceptive use by college dating couples: A comparison of men's and women's reports

Most research on contraceptive behavior has focused on individual women rather than on couples. A study of 101 college dating couples examined three issues that have been largely ignored in previous research: the applicability of Lindemanns (1974) stage model of contraceptive use to couples, agreement between partners in reports of contraceptive methods used, and boyfriends characteristics as correlates of contraceptive use. Stages of contraceptive use were increasingly related to the womens prior sexual experience, and decreasingly related to the mans. Agreement on birth control methods was very high for reports of prescription methods at most recent intercourse, but low for reports of no birth control at first intercourse. Use of prescription methods at most recent intercourse was more strongly related to the womens social characteristics (fathers education, religious background) than to the mans. Results suggest that focusing on women as individuals is a useful strategy for research on contraceptive use, at least for unmarried women.

Nauturalistic Studies of Self-Disclosure

Three naturalistic experimental approaches to studying self-disclosure between strangers are presented. Their advantages and liabilities, both methodological and ethical, are discussed.