Christine Sorrell Dinkins

Advisor and Committee: Dancing with Strangers

There was probably no topic that was discussed more often by the women in our study than their committee. It was interesting for us to hear these stories as we each had our own memories of our dissertation committees but had thought of them as unique to our individual experiences. Listening to the stories of these women brought our own experiences back with fresh reality and made us realize that our remembered encounters and events were not unique. Many of the participants talked of their experiences in just the way we would have.

Transformation of the Self

The women’s stories were filled with reflections on their personal relationship with the dissertation, almost as if the dissertation was embodied. It became a constant (although not always welcome) companion day to day, hour to hour, for months and years. The intensity and length of the time the women were dissertating was unanticipated for many of them. They talked about being “obsessed,” “hysterical,” and “compulsive” during the dissertation as they invested so much of their life in this one activity. Yet, as in Suzy’s reflection above, they realized that the dissertation process, in many ways, had transformed them.

Mystery, Confusion, Isolation

One of the biggest challenges in the dissertation process is simply the mystery of it all. As we saw in Chapter 1, doctoral students struggle with defining what a dissertation is supposed to be in the first place. That difficulty in defining a dissertation leads in turn to the emotions and frustration the women are giving voice to in this chapter. Since, in almost all cases, a dissertation is the first project of such scope for the writer, previous experience may not be sufficient to overcome obstacles. The how-to and self-help books available may not necessarily help enough, either; perhaps they even contribute to the mystery, confusion, and isolation voiced in this chapter. As Mary said: I read five books on … not theory books, practical pragmatic books on how to survive a dissertation. Okay, I read five of them, and I was reading them about a year before I finished my coursework … And I had a different experience than a lot of the books.

Writing the Unknown

Anyone who enters a doctoral program knows that something called “the dissertation” looms at the end of the program of studies. She may look forward to this project as the culmination of her scholarly work, she may dread it, or she may have no idea what it actually is. The stories we gathered revealed a wide difference in perceptions about what a dissertation means. When asked to define the term dissertation, some of the women we interviewed expressed preconceptions about what it is, some were unsure, and some seemed entirely stumped at trying to define it. In spite of the fact that faculty advisors use the term dissertation as if everyone knows what it is, these women’s perceptions differed widely, and some, even after completing the dissertation, were still not sure if they had completed the dissertation correctly. Thus, the question arises: If a person does not know what a dissertation is, how can she write one?