Daryl R. Van Tongeren

Relational humility: conceptualizing and measuring humility as a personality judgment.

The study of humility has progressed slowly due to measurement problems. We describe a model of relational humility that conceptualizes humility as a personality judgment. In this set of 5 studies, we developed the 16-item Relational Humility Scale (RHS) and offered initial evidence for the theoretical model. In Study 1 (N = 300), we developed the RHS and its subscales—Global Humility, Superiority, and Accurate View of Self. In Study 2, we confirmed the factor structure of the scale in an independent sample (N = 196). In Study 3, we provided initial evidence supporting construct validity using an experimental design (N = 200). In Study 4 (N = 150), we provided additional evidence of construct validity by examining the relationships between humility and empathy, forgiveness, and other virtues. In Study 5 (N = 163), we adduced evidence of discriminant and incremental validity of the RHS compared with the Honesty-Humility subscale of the HEXACO–PI (Lee & Ashton, 2004).

Humility and the Development and Repair of Social Bonds: Two Longitudinal Studies

A theory of relational humility asserts that humility can promote strengthening social bonds. To complement prior, cross-sectional research on this topic, two longitudinal studies were conducted. In Study 1, college students in romantic relationships (N = 123), all of whom had been hurt or offended by their partners within the last two months, completed measures of humility and unforgiveness for six consecutive weeks. Relational humility predicted unforgiving motives (lagged by one time-point). In Study 2, we examined college students (N = 84) in small groups that did three tasks intended to challenge humility. Round-robin ratings were used over the course of three measurement occasions to evaluate whether trait humility predicted formation of strong social bonds. As predicted, trait humility was associated with greater group status and acceptance. We concluded that, by using longitudinal methods, there is support for the proposition that humility can help repair and form relationships with strong social bonds.

Forgiveness Results From Integrating Information About Relationship Value and Exploitation Risk

Exploitation is a fact of life for social organisms, and natural selection gives rise to revenge mechanisms that are designed to deter such exploitations. However, humans may also possess cognitive forgiveness mechanisms designed to promote the restoration of valuable social relationships following exploitation. In the current article, the authors test the hypothesis that decisions about forgiveness result from a computational system that combines information about relationship value and exploitation risk to produce decisions about whom to forgive following interpersonal offenses. The authors examined the independent and interactive effects of relationship value and exploitation risk across two studies. In Study 1, controlling for other constructs related to forgiveness, the authors assessed relationship value and exploitation risk. In Study 2, participants experienced experimental manipulations of relationship value and exploitation risk. Across studies, using hypothetical and actual offenses and varied forgiveness measures, the combination of low exploitation risk and high relationship value predicted the greatest forgiveness.

Relational Spirituality and Forgiveness: Development of the Spiritual Humility Scale (SHS)

Research on spirituality and forgiveness has begun to examine the types of dynamic, spiritual experiences that can promote forgiveness. Specifically, we explore how victims may see an offender’s humility in relationship with the Sacred, and how this appraisal affects forgiveness. We also describe the development of the Spiritual Humility Scale (SHS). In Study 1 ( N = 300; F = 166, M = 134), the SHS had a single-factor structure using exploratory factor analysis. In Study 2 (N = 150), the factor structure replicated and evidence supporting construct validity was adduced. Specifically, the SHS was moderately correlated with other spiritual appraisals and with judgments of general humility. It was correlated with forgiveness, even after controlling for other spiritual appraisals. This relationship was moderated by religious commitment, such that appraising spiritual humility affected forgiveness for those high, but not low, in religious commitment.

Two Sides to Self-protection: Self-improvement Strivings and Feedback from Close Relationships Eliminate Mnemic Neglect

People selectively forget feedback that threatens central self-conceptions, a phenomenon labeled mnemic neglect. Such forgetting serves to protect the self-system, but its rigid application may be associated with liabilities such as failing to learn about ones weaknesses. Two experiments tested the extent to which mnemic neglect is rigid or flexible. In Experiment 1, where self-improvement strivings were primed, mnemic neglect was absent: threatening and non-threatening feedback was recalled equally. In Experiment 2, participants received feedback either from a stranger or a close relationship. Participants recalled poorly threatening stranger feedback but recalled well threatening close-relationship feedback. Self-protection is flexible and strategic. Individuals recall well self-threatening feedback when they are concerned with self-improvement and when the feedback has ramifications for long-term relationships.

THE DEDICATION TO THE SACRED (DS) SCALE: ADAPTING A MARRIAGE MEASURE TO STUDY RELATIONAL SPIRITUALITY

We describe the development of the Dedication to the Sacred Scale (DS). The measure was created to test a model of relational spirituality and forgiveness. Items from a measure of commitment in couples (Stanley & Markman, 1992) were adapted to assess a victims dedication to a relationship with the Sacred. In Study 1 (N = 171), confirmatory factor analysis revealed good fit to a single-factor model. We removed poor items and replicated the factor structure on an independent sample in Study 2 (N = 201). In Study 3 (N = 134), the five-item DS showed evidence of construct validity. It was positively related to religious commitment and uncorrelated with social desirability. The DS predicted forgiveness after the variance from religious commitment, desecration, and offenders spiritual and human similarity were removed. Those who viewed the Sacred as a personal being had higher scores than those who viewed the Sacred as impersonal.

Training Parents in Forgiving and Reconciling

Teaching parents how to forgive transgressions of parenting partners may reduce negative emotions, increase positive emotions, and, thus, decrease parenting stress. We implemented a waiting-list design to investigate the efficacy of a 9-hour psychoeducational group intervention, Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy (FREE), presented to 27 parents and caregivers of children 0–9 years old. Participants receiving FREE exhibited increased forgiveness of a target offense by the parenting partner and increased forgiveness of all parenting offenses. This study offers initial evidence that an intervention to promote forgiveness and reconciliation in parents could be beneficial and might improve parenting relations.

Relational Spirituality and Dealing With Transgressions: Development of the Relational Engagement of the Sacred for a Transgression (REST) Scale

In the study of spirituality and forgiveness, researchers have begun to look at how dynamic spiritual experiences influence forgiveness. In three studies, we develop the Relational Engagement of the Sacred for a Transgression (REST) Scale, which assesses the extent to which victims actively engage a relationship with the Sacred to deal with a specific transgression. In Study 1, exploratory factor analysis was used to determine the factor structure of the REST. In Study 2, the factor structure was replicated using confirmatory factory analysis. The REST was correlated with religious commitment and negatively related to avoidant attachment to God. In Study 3, evidence supporting the scales construct validity was adduced. REST scores were correlated with other appraisals of relational spirituality. Structural equation modeling was used to compare theoretical models. REST scores were related to dedication to the Sacred and viewing the transgression as a desecration. In addition, REST scores were positively related to empathy, which was positively related to forgiveness. Furthermore, REST scores predicted forgiveness above and beyond other appraisals of relational spirituality.

Forgiveness and spirituality in organizational life: theory, status of research, and new ideas for discovery

Spirituality is one’s intimacy and closeness with something beyond the self that is held to be sacred (i.e. God, humankind, nature, the cosmos). Workplace conflict and lingering resultant unforgiveness disrupt individuals’ senses of spirituality in the workplace – both in their individual lives and their sense of shared spiritual closeness. Forgiveness is one important way to restore spiritual harmony. We define forgiveness, and briefly review the literature addressing forgiveness in organizations. We also present a model of relational spirituality and forgiveness that addresses how spiritual appraisals around transgressions can help or hinder forgiving and communication around transgressions. We apply this model of spirituality and forgiveness to organizations. We conclude by noting areas of future research needed in this area.

Priming virtue: Forgiveness and justice elicit divergent moral judgments among religious individuals

Forgiveness and justice are related virtues but they may exert divergent effects on moral judgments. Participants were primed with either forgiveness or retributive justice and made moral judgments of individuals. Experiment 1 demonstrated that religious participants recalling an experience of forgiveness reported more favorable attitudes toward moral transgressors than did those recalling an experience of retributive justice. Experiment 2 replicated the priming effect on moral judgments using a subtle prime of either forgiveness or justice (word search) and a different dependent measure. Experiment 3 employed a more religiously diverse sample and revealed the moderating role of religious commitment. These results suggest that salience of forgiveness leads to more favorable evaluations of moral transgressors compared to retributive justice for religious individuals.