Lyndal Khaw

Lesbian/Bisexual Mothers and Intimate Partner Violence: Help Seeking in the Context of Social and Legal Vulnerability:

Mothers in same-sex relationships face unique challenges when help seeking for intimate partner violence (IPV). Formal helping systems often invalidate their family relationships, leaving them vulnerable and distrustful when help seeking. To better understand their experiences, the authors interviewed 24 lesbian/bisexual mothers who were either in or had left abusive same-sex relationships. Increasing severity of violence, effects of violence on children and families, and “being tired” influenced their definitions of the situation. Decisions to seek formal help appeared to be influenced by their support from informal networks and perceived stigma related to the intersection of IPV and being lesbian or bisexual.

Coercive Control and Abused Women’s Decisions About Their Pets When Seeking Shelter

The importance of pets in families, especially during major life stressors, is well documented. Research suggests links between pet ownership and intimate partner violence (IPV). This study explored abused women’s decisions about pets when seeking help from a shelter. Interviews were conducted with 19 women who were pet owners. Using grounded theory methods, two patterns emerged surrounding abusers’ treatment of pets, bonds to pets, women’s decisions about pets upon seeking shelter, and future plans for pets. The presence of coercive control was central to these patterns. Women also discussed their experiences with and needs from shelter professionals and veterinarians with implications for practice.

Lesbian mothering in the context of intimate partner violence.

SUMMARY Twenty-four lesbian mothers (12 African American, 9 White, and 3 Latina) who had experienced physical abuse by a same-sex partner were interviewed. Three types of IPV were found: intimate terrorism, situational violence, and mutual violent control. Further, relationships between mothers/abusers, mothers/children, and abusers/children were examined. Regarding relationships with abusers, 71% of mothers reported lengthy sagas, 17% had worked it out, and 13% made a clean break from the abuser. Regarding relationships with their children, 48% of mothers hid the violence, 26% minimized it, and 26% openly communicated about the situation. Relationships between abusers and the mothers children were found to be either co-parental (29%), playmate (21%), abusive (21%), or non-parental (21%). Correlations among relational and demographic variables were also examined.

The Influence of Divorcing Mothers' Demeanor on Custody Evaluators' Assessment of Their Domestic Violence Allegations

A gap exists between empirical evidence demonstrating the risks posed by domestic violence (DV) and the weight that evidence is given by custody evaluators. This gap may result from common beliefs about DV that diminish or deny its seriousness, which include that mothers often make false allegations to gain advantage and that DV and high conflict are synonymous and do not require differential approaches. Using a multiple segment factorial vignette design, we systematically assessed how these beliefs influenced custody evaluators (N = 603) recommendations and judgments of the believability of allegations. Mothers demeanor (i.e., hostile vs. pleasant) was the most consistent predictor of evaluators recommendations and judgments of credibility. Findings have implications for providing research-based education and training for evaluators.

Marital Violence and Coparenting Quality After Separation

Research has identified multiple predictors of coparenting quality, but few studies have investigated how intimate partner violence (IPV) affects divorcing couples coparenting relationships. We addressed this question in a sample of 154 mothers with different marital IPV experiences. Mothers were recruited within 4 months of a divorce filing and completed two interviews 3 months apart. At Time 1, mothers reported on violence and coercive control during marriage, and postseparation behavioral (e.g., parental communication), emotional (e.g., anger), and intrusion (e.g., harassment) dynamics; at Time 2, they reported on coparenting quality (i.e., levels of support and conflict). In the overall sample, divorce and violence variables independently predicted coparenting quality. Mothers were then classified into three groups: no violence (NV; n = 74), situational couple violence (SCV; n = 46), or coercive controlling violence (CCV; n = 34). Of the 3, coparenting quality was lowest in the CCV group. While the SCV group was similar to the NV group on most divorce-related variables, the CCV group reported more hostility at separation and placed less importance on father-child relationships. Finally, patterns of association between study variables and coparenting quality showed some parallels between the SCV and NV groups. For CCV, postseparation harassment and fear were negatively associated with coparenting quality. Findings contribute to understanding predictors of coparenting quality and support the need for individualized assessments of divorce cases with attention to IPV dynamics.

Perceptions of Boundary Ambiguity in the Process of Leaving an Abusive Partner

The process of leaving an abusive partner has been theorized using the Stages of Change Model. Although useful, this model does not account for changes in relational boundaries unique to the process of leaving. Using family stress and feminist perspectives, this study sought to integrate boundary ambiguity into the Stages of Change Model. Boundary ambiguity is defined as a perception of uncertainty as to who is in or out of a family system (Boss & Greenberg, 1984). Twenty-five mothers who had temporarily or permanently left their abusers were interviewed. Data were analyzed using constructivist grounded theory methods. Results identify types, indicators of, and mothers responses to boundary ambiguity throughout the five stages of change. Most mothers and abusers fluctuated between physical and psychological presence and absence over multiple separations. The integration of boundary ambiguity into the Stages of Change Model highlights the process of leaving an abusive partner as systemic, fluid, and nonlinear.

Mental and Active Preparation: Examining Variations in Women’s Processes of Preparing to Leave Abusive Relationships

Although the process of leaving abusive relationships has received increased research attention, preparing to leave is still largely understudied. Despite an emphasis on safety planning, not all women take active steps to prepare, and the characteristics and experiences of those who do or do not actively prepare are unknown. We address this gap with a secondary data analysis of interviews with 25 abused mothers in the process of leaving. All women initially engaged in mental planning, where they had emotionally disconnected from their partners. Using constructivist grounded theory techniques, we identified two distinct groups: those whose mental planning led to active planning (n = 11), and those who moved directly from mental planning to leaving (n = 14) with little time or need to actively plan. The groups differed on several individual, relationship, and child factors, which may have impacted the ability or decisions to prepare. This study supports the feminist view that survivors are not helpless victims but active agents who strategize for safety. Those who engage solely in mental planning still prepare to leave, even if they do not engage in active planning. Practitioners should consider factors affecting preparations and acknowledge mental planning as a necessary effort in leaving.

Coparenting relationship trajectories: Marital violence linked to change and variability after separation

Associations between marital intimate partner violence (IPV) and postseparation coparenting relationship trajectories were examined among 135 mothers who participated in 5 interviews at 3-month intervals in the year following their divorce filing. Growth curve analysis was conducted to assess change and variability in coparenting dimensions (i.e., conflict, support, communication about child rearing, and harassment) in the overall sample and by type of IPV. In the overall sample, coparenting conflict, communication about child rearing, and harassment decreased across the year following separation. However, coparenting relationships differed considerably based on marital IPV experiences. At Time 1, mothers in relationships with coercive controlling violence (CCV) reported higher levels of harassment and conflict, and lower levels of support and communication about coparenting, than mothers with situational couple violence (SCV) or no violence (NV). Furthermore, coparenting relationship trajectories differed significantly by IPV group, with mothers who experienced CCV showing more variability in conflict and harassment, and more marked changes in conflict, support, and harassment. Despite many similarities, mothers with SCV showed higher initial levels of harassment compared to mothers with NV. Findings can support family court and social service professionals’ efforts to individualize interventions with divorcing parents based on IPV experiences. In cases of CCV, for example, attention to heightened control dynamics in the immediate separation period remain critical but the persistent volatility across the first year suggests the potential for chronic stress. With SCV, practitioners may be able to capitalize on parents’ reasonable levels of communication and steady coparenting support.

“The System Had Choked Me Too”: Abused Mothers’ Perceptions of the Custody Determination Process That Resulted in Negative Custody Outcomes

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a public health problem that continues to affect abused mothers after separation from an abusive partner. In addition to the risk of ongoing control and violence by abusers, the custody determination process may present challenges for mothers who end up with negative custody outcomes (e.g., share custody with abusers or lose custody). Using constructivist grounded theory techniques, we conducted a qualitative analysis of interviews with 24 abused mothers with negative custody outcomes to understand how they perceive and make sense of the process as a whole, and how they cope with these outcomes. The custody determination process was reportedly complex and stressful, and most mothers did not anticipate a negative custody outcome. Mothers perceptions and experiences followed three phases: trusting the system to protect them and their children, adapting to the system in search of positive outcomes, and, once custody decisions were determined, coping with the aftermath of the judicial system process, either by accepting or resisting the outcome. This study echoes previous calls for further training and policies that make the custody determination process less burdensome and harmful for survivors and their children.