Ruth Sharabany

Girlfriend, boyfriend: Age and sex differences in intimate friendship.

Changes in intimate friendship with same-sex and opposite-sex friends in preadolescence and adolescence were investigated using Sharabanys Intimacy Scale. The sample consisted of 480 Israeli children from the 5th, 7th, 9th, and llth grades who rated their friendship with a same-sex or opposite-sex best friend. There was a significant age difference in overall intimacy with same-sex friends. Frankness and spontaneity, knowing and sensitivity, attachment, exclusiveness, and giving and sharing were dimensions that exhibited change with age. Trust and loyalty, and taking and imposing did not. Opposite-sex friendship revealed a significant increase in intimacy with age. Boys and girls did not differ in reported opposite-sex friendship in the 5th and 7th grades, whereas girls in the 9th and llth grades reported higher intimacy than did boys. This sex-by-age pattern of interaction was particularly evident for attachment and for trust and loyalty. Girls were higher in knowing and sensitivity, giving and sharing, and taking and imposing. The implications for further differentiation among types of peer relations and interrelation of dyadic friendship and cognitive growth are discussed. The importance of peer relations for the normal social development of the individual has been documented. Studies relate to experiments with animals (e.g., Harlow, 1971; Suomi, 1978), schizophrenic adults (e.g.,

Parenting anxiety and stress: does gender play a part at 3 months of age?

In this study, the authors compared 90 pairs of mothers and fathers with respect to aspects of negative emotionality experienced in the early parenting role. Mothers and fathers of 90 healthy 3-month-old infants completed questionnaires pertaining to parenting stress and separation anxiety. Mothers reported significantly higher levels of negative emotionality than did fathers. An interaction effect of parent with child gender on the level of parenting stress was indicated. Mothers of sons reported more stress than did mothers of daughters. The childs gender was not related to the level of separation anxiety expressed by mothers and fathers. The findings suggested that, at 3 months of age, the childs gender plays a role in the parenting experience, but the impact is (a) moderated by the parents gender and (b) construct-specific (e.g., stress). These findings are in line with a multidetermined model of parenting.

Theories of the Development of Altruism: Review, Comparison and Integration:

The paper reviews four approaches regarding the development of altruism and proposes an integrative framework. In the first, the evolutionary approach, the focus is on the biological and social conditions which enhance altruistic behavior. In the second reviewed approach, the psychoanalytic, altruistic behavior is seen as an outcome of emotional growth of the individual and as being influenced by the interaction of intra-psychic forces. The third approach, social learning, emphasizes the external conditions which lead to learning of altruistic behavior. This approach considers the use of reinforcement and modeling as principal mechanisms for perpetuating altruistic behavior. Finally, the cognitive developmental approach postulates that altruistic development is a function of the level of cognition; social perspective, and moral development attained by the individual. The four approaches are compared in terms of three general issues: the origin of altruism, the conception of altruism as a state or as a trait, and individual differences in altruism. Analysis of the approaches suggests that each of them refers to a different unit of analysis and that, therefore, the four approaches can be viewed as complementing each other.

Close relationships in adolescence: The case of the kibbutz

In this article, studies on close relationships among kibbutz adolescents are reviewed. The case of the kibbutz is examined in terms of the balance between relationship with parents and relationship with peers in the kibbutz as compared to the city and moshav, as well as within the kibbutz between communal vs. familial sleeping arrangements. The reviewed studies address three issues: Intimacy with a best friend; self-disclosure and emotional expression toward peers, parents, and figures outside the family; and peer group relations. Studies on intimacy in young adults, married adults, and parent-daughter relationships are considered as pointing to the possible consequences of the patterns observed during adolescence. Differences in intimacy and emotional expression among adolescents in the different settings are interpreted in terms of the effects of structural variables (sleeping arrangement, degree of contact with parents and peers) being a marker for greater peer involvement. It is argued that adolescents are likely to maintain their more inhibited pattern of expression of intimacy into adulthood when they stay in the same setting. Change in the level of expressed intimacy is likely to occur in adulthood, with change of setting. Based on cross-sectional studies, it is speculated that it is possible to close developmental gaps in intimacy at a later stage, thus supporting a situational-based pattern of intimacy and closeness.

Do Friends Share and Communicate More than Non-Friends?.

Eighty children, kindergarteners and first graders, were assigned to classmate same-sex pairs of friends and non-friends. Each dyad was asked to draw on a single sheet of paper using paints and cuttings. Social communicative behaviors; smiles, looks and verbal activity, and sharing behaviors; exchange of materials and use of space, were observed. Interobserver reliability was 0.80. Results showed that friends unexpectedly exhibited less sharing and less communicative behaviors, while they showed more task activity. An explanatory model is suggested to account for social intimacy among friends; task relevant behaviors are maximized, and other social behaviors minimized among friends. Non-friends minimized task relevant behaviors and maximized social communicative behaviors. Implications for the vicissitudes of intimacy among friends are discussed.

Boyfriend, girlfriend in a traditional society: Parenting styles and development of intimate friendships among Arabs in school

The development of intimate same- and other-sex friendships in Arab children and adolescents in Israel was investigated in relation to their perceived parenting styles. It was hypothesized that girls would show higher levels of intimacy than boys, and that cross-sex intimacy in both groups would increase with age, whereas same-sex intimate friendship maintains rather stable over the school years. We hypothesized further that intimate friendship would be contingent more readily on perceived parental authoritative style rather than on either permissive or authoritarian styles. Participants were 723 Arab students drawn from four schools, and from the 5th, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades. The Parental Authority Questionnaire and Intimate Friendship Scale were employed as measures. Findings indicated that girls were more intimate with their female friends than boys were with their male friends, especially in the higher grades, replicating previous studies. However, boys tended to score higher than girls on intimacy with the other gender. Girls equaled their level of intimacy only at the 11th grade. These findings suggest that traditional societies may foster specific characteristics of intimate friendship. A novel finding is the central role of the authoritative parenting style in determining intimate friendships. Results are discussed in terms of universal aspects of friendship and of their expression in the investigated cultural setting.

Group Counseling to Enhance Adolescents’ Close Friendships

Abstract The purpose of this study was to measure the impact of group counseling on adolescents’ intimacy with a close friend. The study population was comprised of 174 residential and day students of seven ninth-grade classes in a residential school in Israel. All participants were socially disadvantaged, with a problematic family background. They were randomly divided into experimental and control conditions: group counseling versus an in-class enrichment program. School personnel in the helping professions conducted all counseling groups after receiving training and supervision. Results of the counseling intervention showed a significant late effect in intimacy growth with a close friend. None of the three covariates (gender, residency, divorce) had a significant impact on results. The results support, to some extent, the dual process model of relationship development.

Ecology, childhood experiences, and adult attachment styles of women in the kibbutz

The present study exploited a “natural experiment” which covered variations in child-rearing conditions within the communal setting of the Israeli kibbutz. The long-term effects of these variations and of childhood experiences on attachment styles of adults were examined. Three groups of mothers who were raised in the kibbutz participated: (1) a Communal group, mothers raised communally and now raising their child communally; (2) a Familial group, mothers raised in the family and now raising their child in the family, and (3) a Non-continuous group, mothers raised communally and now raising their child in the family. In keeping with studies with infants, we expected the familial group to show the most security, the communal group to show the least security, and the non-continuous to be in between. Participants were 152 women with school-age children. They reported on their attachment styles and availability of significant others during childhood. Additionally, they evaluated the child-rearing context of themselves and of their children. The three groups did not differ in their attachment security or in the reported availability of significant others in childhood. They differed in their evaluations of their own and their children’s child-rearing contexts. Specifically, they had negative evaluations regarding the communal sleeping arrangement. Security of attachment was related to reported availability of significant others in childhood. These results are discussed in view of the differentiation between contextual-distal variables and process-proximal variables.

The dual process of adolescent immigration and relocation: from country to country and from childhood to adolescence--its reflection in psychodynamic psychotherapy

This chapter presents psychological issues and processes in adolescent patients who have also migrated or relocated from one country to another. Theoretical perspectives related to attachment processes illumine both migration and adolescence as changes for which secure bases are most needed, lost, and sometimes rediscovered. The psychodynamic processes underlying the difficulties encountered by such adolescents, and their meaning, are presented. Relationships with parents, which normally go through separation-individuation and renegotiation of the oedipal crisis, both of which are central to adolescence, are disrupted by migration. Migration poses new challenges and choices while identity formation is evolving during adolescence. These include adopting a new identity, embracing and letting go of the old, and accepting and integrating the new. The dual relationship with identity finds expression, for example, in language. Fluctuations in understanding and not understanding the new and the old language represent the ambivalence toward the new and the old. The developmental roller-coaster of adolescence, which involves more intense use of defense mechanisms, is heightened during immigration. Processes of idealization (of parents, therapist, old country, new culture) rapidly fade with the devaluation of the same targets. Mechanisms of splitting between good and bad, as well as massive repression of issues that are too hard to deal with at this crossroad, are profuse. Hopeful fantasies of rebirth are concurrent with despair, depression, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts and attempts. Excerpts from a case in psychodynamic psychotherapy are presented, focusing on the evolving new balances: integrating the old and the new by maintaining attachments to the one while forming attachments to the other; relinquishing and mourning the lost paradise of childhood, as well as the old country, friends, culture, smells, and tastes; accepting disappointments when the shining new terrain of the new country is not the fantasized promised land; negotiating processes of splitting that have been employed in the false hope of quieting the internal turmoil of the transitions (the good vs. the bad country, parents, therapist, and developmental tasks); finding new ways of coping with the deep despair of losing all the above, and the urge to give it all up; and, finally, forming an integrated identity, built on both the old and the new. The processes are elucidated by examples from the psychotherapy of an adolescent Ethiopian-born immigrant to Israel.

Reciprocated and unreciprocated dyadic peer preferences and academic achievement of Israeli and immigrant students: a longitudinal study.

Abstract The authors used a longitudinal design to investigate 2 major issues: first, whether popularity with classmates results in better academic achievement or academic achievement improves popularity with classmates; and second, how time affects in-group and out-group contacts in the elementary school. The authors studied these issues by means of an interactive measure of reciprocated and unreciprocated contacts with peers. This measure indicated the extent to which aspirations for close relations were fulfilled or not fulfilled by each member of a dyad. Participants were 305 fifth- and sixth-grade Israeli students and 100 immigrant classmates. Results indicated (a) higher academic achievement predicted higher numbers of bids for reciprocal contacts in class but not higher numbers of bids for contacts that were not reciprocated; (b) a higher level of unreciprocated bids for contact seemed to have a detrimental effect on academic performance; (c) teachers tended to rate as more adjusted to school the immigrant students who were willing to engage in more intensive reciprocated contacts with Israeli peers; and (d) reciprocated contacts tended to increase whereas unreciprocated contacts were inclined to decrease as a function of time. These changes over time were more prominent for the dominant hosts than for their migrant classmates.