Samantha Joel

Conflicting pressures on romantic relationship commitment for anxiously attached individuals.

Anxious attachment predicts strong desires for intimacy and stability in romantic relationships, yet the relation between anxious attachment and romantic commitment is unclear. We propose that extant literature has failed to find a consistent relation because anxiously attached individuals experience conflicting pressures on commitment. Data from Australia (N=137) show that relationship satisfaction and felt security each act as suppressors of a positive relation between anxious attachment and commitment. Data from Japan (N=159) replicate the suppression effect of felt security and also demonstrate that the residual positive relation between anxious attachment and commitment can be partly explained by dependence on the partner. These findings suggest that anxiously attached individuals may be ambivalent about commitment. Dissatisfaction and worries about negative evaluation appear to exert downward pressure on commitment, counteracting the upward pressure that is exerted by factors such as relational dependency.

The Things You Do for Me: Perceptions of a Romantic Partner’s Investments Promote Gratitude and Commitment

Although a great deal of attention has been paid to the role of people’s own investment in promoting relationship commitment, less research has considered the possible role of the partner’s investments. An experiment (Study 1) and two combined daily experience and longitudinal studies (Studies 2 and 3) documented that perceived investments from one partner motivate the other partner to further commit to the relationship. All three studies provided support for gratitude as a mechanism of this effect. These effects held even for individuals who were relatively less satisfied with their relationships. Together, these results suggest that people feel particularly grateful for partners who they perceive to have invested into the relationship, which, in turn, motivates them to further commit to the relationship. Implications for research and theory on gratitude and relationship commitment are discussed.

Insecure attachment predicts ambivalent social threat and reward perceptions in romantic relationships

Although theoretical perspectives on adult attachment forward relational ambivalence as a defining characteristic of at least some forms of insecurity, work demonstrating an ambivalent structure to the relational attitudes of insecure individuals has been rare. The current research examines the similarity and intensity of perceptions of social threat (i.e., concerns over rejection) and social reward (i.e., opportunities for intimacy) in romantic relationships. Using a sample of 1004 participants, evidence for relational ambivalence was found for both anxious and avoidant attachment. Individuals high in anxious attachment reported relatively similar and intense threat and reward perceptions, whereas individuals high in avoidant attachment showed evidence of similar, but not intense, threat and reward perceptions. Thus, the weighing of prospects for rejection and intimacy in romantic relationships arguably leads to what researchers traditionally think of as ambivalence for those high in attachment anxiety, but something more akin to indifference for those high in attachment avoidance. More broadly, this work provides a set of tools and methods for carefully examining ambivalence in close relationships.

Romantic Relationships Conceptualized as a Judgment and Decision-Making Domain

We review the emerging evidence suggesting that the largely separate research areas of romantic relationships and judgment and decision making (JDM) can usefully inform each other. First, we present evidence that decisions in more traditional JDM domains (e.g., consumerism, economics) share important features with romantic-relationship decisions, including the use of formal decision strategies (e.g., the investment model), intuitive shortcuts (e.g., the availability heuristic), and anticipated emotions (e.g., affective forecasting). In turn, we present evidence suggesting that incorporating key concepts from the field of relationships (e.g., need to belong, attachment style) can enrich traditional JDM domains. These largely unrecognized overlaps between relationship decisions and decisions made in more traditional decision-making domains suggest that the fields of relationship science and JDM—each of which contains a wealth of existing theory, findings, and research tools—could be used to illuminate one another for mutual benefit.

To Do It or Not to Do It? How Communally Motivated People Navigate Sexual Interdependence Dilemmas

The current research investigates how people make sexual decisions when romantic partners’ sexual desires conflict, situations we refer to as sexual interdependence dilemmas. Across an experimental study, a retrospective recall study, and a 21-day daily experience study, we found that people who were motivated to meet their partner’s sexual needs—those high in sexual communal strength—were more willing to engage in sex with their romantic partner, even when their own desire was low, and as a result, both partners reported enhanced relationship and sexual satisfaction. The benefits of sexual communal strength were due to communally oriented people’s increased desire to promote their partner’s interests and decreased desire to pursue their own interests. This is the first set of studies to investigate how people make decisions in sexual interdependence dilemmas and show that communally motivated individuals navigate these situations in a way that is beneficial for relationships.

Conservatives Anticipate and Experience Stronger Emotional Reactions to Negative Outcomes

The present work examined whether conservatives and liberals differ in their anticipation of their own emotional reactions to negative events. In two studies, participants imagined experiencing positive or negative outcomes in domains that do not directly concern politics. In Study 1, 190 American participants recruited online (64 male, Mage  = 32 years) anticipated their emotional responses to romantic relationship outcomes. In Study 2, 97 Canadian undergraduate students (26 male, Mage  = 21 years) reported on their anticipated and experienced emotional responses to academic outcomes. In both studies, more conservative participants predicted they would feel stronger negative emotions following negative outcomes than did more liberal participants. Furthermore, a longitudinal follow-up of Study 2 participants revealed that more conservative participants actually felt worse than more liberal participants after receiving a lower-than-desired exam grade. These effects remained even when controlling for the Big Five traits, prevention focus, and attachment style (Study 1), and optimism (Study 2). We discuss how the relationship between political orientation and anticipated affect likely contributes to differences between conservatives and liberals in styles of decision and policy choices.

Ex Appeal: Current Relationship Quality and Emotional Attachment to Ex-Partners

Relationship research typically treats feelings about current romantic partners as independent of any lingering attachment to past partners. In contrast, the current study tests for an inverse association between current relationship quality and attachment to ex-partners. A longitudinal study followed individuals in relationships at three points over the course of 6 months. Participants reported their current relationship quality, emotional attachment to ex-partners, and perceived quality of relationship alternatives. Longitudinal declines in relationship quality predicted increased longing for ex-partners, above and beyond attention to relationship alternatives more generally. On the other hand, increased longing for ex-partners over time predicted decreased relationship quality, but only among those considering recent ex-partners. These findings suggest that ex-partners may be used in a substitution process to bolster belongingness needs when relationships sour and that resolving feelings for one’s most recent ex may be important for maximizing a new relationship’s potential.

The independent contributions of social reward and threat perceptions to romantic commitment.

Although separate literatures have emerged on effects of social threats (i.e., rejection and negative evaluation) and rewards (i.e., connection and intimacy) on the process of commitment to a romantic relationship, no research has examined the influence of both simultaneously. Using an attachment framework, we examined the relation of social threats and rewards to investment model constructs (i.e., commitment, satisfaction, investment, quality of alternatives) in 3 studies. Study 1 (N = 533) and Study 2 (N = 866) assessed attachment styles, reward and threat perceptions, and investment model constructs, and data were analyzed using structural equation models. In Study 3 (N = 358), reward and threat perceptions were experimentally manipulated followed by measurement of investment model constructs. Results showed that attachment avoidance was uniquely associated with lower perceptions of reward, whereas attachment anxiety was uniquely associated with stronger perceptions of threat. Stronger reward perceptions were associated with higher commitment, investment, and satisfaction, as well as lower quality of alternatives in all studies. Stronger threat perceptions were associated with lower satisfaction in all 3 studies. Stronger threat perceptions were also correlated with higher levels of investment and commitment, although these effects did not replicate in our experimental study. Thus, perceptions of reward appear unambiguously associated with higher levels of all facets of commitment, whereas perceptions of threat are most strongly associated with lower satisfaction. These results underscore the importance of considering the effects of rewards and threats simultaneously in commitment processes.

People Overestimate Their Willingness to Reject Potential Romantic Partners by Overlooking Their Concern for Other People

Mate preferences often fail to correspond with actual mate choices. We present a novel explanation for this phenomenon: People overestimate their willingness to reject unsuitable romantic partners. In two studies, single people were given the opportunity to accept or decline advances from potential dates who were physically unattractive (Study 1) or incompatible with their dating preferences (Study 2). We found that participants were significantly less willing to reject these unsuitable potential dates when they believed the situation to be real rather than hypothetical. This effect was partially explained by other-focused motives: Participants for whom the scenario was hypothetical anticipated less motivation to avoid hurting the potential date’s feelings than participants actually felt when they believed the situation to be real. Thus, other-focused motives appear to exert an influence on mate choice that has been overlooked by researchers and laypeople alike.

Longing for Ex‐Partners out of Fear of Being Single

This research investigated whether people who fear being single have a more difficult time letting go of ex-partners following a romantic breakup. Data were collected in a cross-sectional study (N = 209, 64% women, Mage  = 30 years old) as well as a 1-month daily experience study of individuals who just went through a romantic breakup (N = 117, 44% women, Mage  = 27 years old). Findings from both studies revealed that those with stronger fear of being single (Spielmann et al., 2013) reported greater longing for their ex-partners. Pre- to post-breakup analyses revealed that fear of being single increased after a breakup, regardless of who initiated the breakup. Within-day analyses revealed that longing for an ex-partner and attempts to renew the relationship were greater on days with stronger fear of being single. Lagged-day analyses provided support for the conclusion that fear of being single increased longing and renewal attempts over time, but longing and renewal attempts did not influence fear of being single. These findings suggest that fear of being single is a particularly useful construct for understanding the romantic detachment process.