Rachel M. McLaren

Explaining Variation in Contemporaneous Responses to Hurt in Premarital Romantic Relationships: A Relational Turbulence Model Perspective

The authors use the relational turbulence model to derive hypotheses linking characteristics of relationships and reactions to hypothetical hurtful messages from a romantic relationship partner. It was hypothesized that relational uncertainty and perceptions of goal interference and facilitation from a partner predict perceptions of relational turbulence, which in turn predicts the intensity of hurt feelings, negative emotions, and the perceived intentionality of hurt evoked by hypothetical scenarios involving that partner. Participants in a web-based survey ( N = 381) completed measures of relationship qualities and recorded responses to five hypothetical scenarios that described their romantic partner delivering a potentially hurtful message. As anticipated, relationship uncertainty and interference from a partner predicted increased relational turbulence, whereas facilitation from a partner was associated with less turbulence; relational turbulence significantly predicted all three reactions to hurtful messages. The discussion highlights the contribution of the study to an understanding of hurtful messages by revealing the dynamic relational characteristics that influence people’s contemporaneous reactions to hurt.

Appraisals and Distancing Responses to Hurtful Messages

The goal of this article is to clarify the conditions under which intensity of hurt influences how much people distance themselves from hurtful friends or dating partners. This article draws on appraisal theories of emotion, which explain both the causes and consequences of emotions, to derive predictions about the role of variables relevant to hurtful episodes. The authors replicate previous research designs for the study of hurtful messages to test the hypotheses and research questions. Results reveal significant main effects for intensity of hurt, perceived intentionality, relational quality, and frequency of hurt on relational distancing. Additionally, perceived intentionality and frequency of hurt moderated the association between intensity of hurt and relational distancing, contingent on the respondents sex and the type of relationship. The discussion highlights the utility of appraisal theories of emotion as a framework for the study of hurtful experiences.

Relational Messages, Perceptions of Hurt, and Biological Stress Reactions to a Disconfirming Interaction

This study examines relational messages as predictors of hurt, using both self-report indicators of hurt and biological markers of stress reactivity to a hurtful interaction. Hypotheses predict that perceptions of involvement, composure, and receptivity increase feelings of hurt, whereas perceptions of similarity, affiliation, and informality decrease hurt. Participants (N = 91) engage in two 5-minute conversations with a romantic partner about core traits and values. The partner is coached to be disconfirming and hurtful during the second conversation about the participant’s core traits or values. Following the interaction, participants report their level of hurt and their perceptions of the conversation and give saliva samples to measure cortisol. The hypotheses are partially supported, such that perceptions of affiliation and informality are negatively associated with hurt feelings. Furthermore, self-reported hurt feelings are positively associated with increases in salivary cortisol. Affiliation and receptivity also have direct effects on the stability of cortisol change.

Privacy Recalibration in Personal Relationships: Rule Usage Before and After an Incident of Privacy Turbulence

Although privacy violations can be uncomfortable and disruptive, they have the potential for positive outcomes in relationships if addressed. Using Communication Privacy Management theory as a framework, this study surveyed a community sample of 273 adults to examine their retrospective accounts of privacy violations in personal relationships. Results showed that less than half of the sample offered explicit rules for information management, and the majority of participants blamed the confidant for the privacy turbulence. Findings indicated that people often do not share similar information with the violator in the future, but if they do, less than half offer explicit privacy rules during the privacy recalibration process. Confrontation efficacy was positively associated with initiating a conversation about the privacy turbulence and that people who engaged in privacy recalibration were more likely to report forgiveness and relational improvement and less likely to report relational damage than those individuals who did not.

Appraisal and Distancing Responses to Hurtful Messages II: A Diary Study of Dating Partners and Friends

The purpose of this study was to examine how the perceived intentionality of hurtful messages influences the extent to which people distance themselves from hurtful friends or dating partners by replicating the McLaren and Solomon (2008) study using a diary methodology. Based on appraisal theories of emotion, two hypotheses were advanced: Intensity of hurt is positively associated with relational distancing (H1), and perceived intentionality moderates the association between intensity of hurt and distancing (H2). Daily diaries were used to collect reports of hurtful episodes from participants (N = 131) over a 14-day period. Hierarchical linear modeling results were consistent with the hypotheses. The authors discuss the theoretical implications of these results for future research.

Emotions, communicative responses, and relational consequences of boundary turbulence

Guided by communication privacy management theory and appraisal theories of emotion this study examined how emotions (hurt, anger, and fear) and communicative responses (approach and withdrawal strategies) to boundary turbulence correspond with relational outcomes. A community sample of individuals (N = 273) reported on instances when another person mishandled their private information. Results showed that hurt, anger, fear, distancing, and a combination of anger and distributive responses all corresponded with relational damage, whereas integrative responses and anger were associated with relational improvement. Taken together, our study provides evidence that boundary turbulence does not have to be a negative experience and can actually result in improved relational functioning.

The Effect of Under- and Over-Benefited Support Gaps on Hurt Feelings, Esteem, and Relationships

Although the supportive communication people receive from others during stressful times can be helpful, it can also result in negative outcomes. One explanation for these different effects might be how closely the support people receive matches their desires. This study extends optimal matching theory and examines how the discrepancy between the support people want and what they receive (called support gaps) corresponds with hurt feelings, perceived negative relational consequences, and esteem improvement. People can either receive less support than the desire (i.e., be under-benefited) or receive more support than they desire (i.e., be over-benefited), and these different types of support gaps produce distinct patterns of results. Specifically, action-facilitating support, which includes informational and tangible support, and nurturant support, which includes emotional, esteem, and network support, were studied. Results showed that being over-benefited in informational support and being under-benefited in emotional and esteem support is hurtful, and hurt corresponded with negative relational consequences and reduced esteem improvement. Implications for research on support gaps and hurt feelings are discussed.

Uncertainty issues and management in adult children’s stories of their estrangement with their parents:

Framed in the uncertainty literature, the present study explores the uncertainty issues and management practices of adult children who are in the estrangement process with their parents. Results from 52 narrative interviews reveal six types of uncertainty and six management processes. Taken together, results suggest that the estrangement process is marked by chronic uncertainty that can serve multiple functions. Theoretical implications and practical applications are discussed.

Relational Framing Theory: Utterance Form and Relational Context as Antecedents of Frame Salience

Using relational framing theory, this article examines the influence of utterance type and relational context on the salience of relational frames. The authors report the results of two studies that used scenarios to manipulate utterance form and information about the relationship between interactants. Participants rated the relevance of dominance-submissiveness and affiliation-disaffiliation frames to interpreting the hypothetical interactions. Results showed that judgments of dominance-submissiveness frame salience were sensitive to variations in utterance type and relational context, but the results were mixed for the affiliation-disaffiliation frame. The authors discuss the implications for relational framing theory and the possibility of an affiliation bias.

Contextualizing Experiences of Hurt Within Close Relationships

This article uses Bradbury and Finchams contextual model of relationships to clarify how proximal and distal factors affect the relationship damage associated with hurtful messages, how the consequences of a previous hurt shape peoples experience of a subsequent hurtful message, and how the cumulative consequences of hurt influence relationship quality over two weeks. Participants responded about either a dating partner or friend. Multi-level modeling and regression analyses revealed that relational quality and perceptions of messages corresponded with relational damage, and the number of hurtful events and relational damage interacted to predict relational quality at the end of the study.